


Home

by Florivea



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Actors, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Brotherly Affection, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fame, Fluff, Homelessness, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-07-03 09:25:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florivea/pseuds/Florivea
Summary: Wonho finally won the lottery. He got the name on his shoulder, just needs to find his soul mate. But it doesn't seem like Kihyun wants to be found." It means that you are what they said on TV: Everybody's Darling, Wonho. And Everybody's Darling should not be close to a nobody. Still, I'm happy to know that what they say is true. You do have a heart of gold."





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I know... I should finish my other stuff but here I am. Posting something new~ I still hope you enjoy. I have been gone for a long time, sorting out my life and this was the first thing that came to my mind when I wanted to write again. Comments and all are appreciated~

1-1

 

" You're planning to throw that away?"

 

Wonho looks up from the trash bag in his hands when someone addresses him unexpectedly from the side. It is late at night, after twelve, the streets in the upper class area where his apartment is located usually deserted by that time.

 

There should be no one talking to him right now.

 

That is the first problem Wonho is having.

 

The second one is the guy talking to Wonho.

 

There is only rich people living in the area. Celebrities like Wonho himself, business tycoons, widows that inherited their husbands fortune and doctors. A whole shitload of doctors.

 

Not guys like him with too wide clothes, dishevelled hair and worn out shoes.

 

Wonho wonders how he even got into the area. The security guard doesn't let anyone in without an ID.

 

Once more, Wonho eyes him from head to toe.

 

The guy doesn't look like on of his crazy fans. Usually when someone stalks him they take better care of their appearance in hope he will hopelessly fall in love with them or simpler, be their soul mate.

 

Wonho takes in the others arms that appear way too thin under his too big shirt and decides that he is not trying to rob Wonho. Even if he tried to he wouldn't get far.

 

Altogether, there doesn't seem to be any threat for him.

 

Still, what is he doing here?

 

" Did you want to throw that away?" The other repeats.

 

Wonho looks at him for another moment. His gaze then wanders to the trash bag in his hand to which the other points another time. Normally the housekeeper brings the trash out, but today he needed a reason to get some fresh air, hidden behind his mask and in his comfortable sweatpants.

 

He can't seem to understand the situation.

 

" It's trash." Wonho answers eventually and feels a lot dumber than he should.

 

" It's not. The sausages. No one opened them yet."

 

" They're expired."

 

" How long?"

 

Wonho lifts the bag closer to his face and inspects the sausages inside. " Two days."

 

The stranger smiles. " That's perfectly fine. They're still edible."

 

He looks too thin, Wonho can't help but to think. It gets more prominent when he smiles. He cheeks look a bit hollow.

 

" What are you doing here?"

 

The question he should have asked from the beginning.

 

The other doesn't look away from the trash bag, his eyes scanning the content inside.

 

" Rich people tend to throw perfectly fine food away. Sometimes I check their trash out, see if I can find something."

 

" How did you get in here?"

 

" The guard wasn't looking. He's busy watching porn on his phone."

 

The other grins, but then winces, a hand on his ribcage. His expression only turns into that of pain for a mere second, then it is back to normal in the blink of an eye, but Wonho saw.

 

'As if he's used to hide things' Wonho catches himself thinking.

 

" Do you mind giving it to me? You wanted to get rid of it either way."

 

Wonho can't help but to be surprised about his direct approach. As if the guy has thrown away his pride a long time ago.

 

" But... it's trash..."

 

" You can just give me the bag if you don't want to touch it. It's fine."

 

" What do you want with it?"

 

" Eat it."

 

" Eat it?"

 

" Yes. What else would I be doing?"

 

Wonho unobtrusively takes a look around the area, almost expects to find a camera and a team in his close proximity that tries to play some hidden joke on him.

 

' Wonho helping out the poor'

 

He can see the line on the news already.

 

" Please?"

It is quiet but Wonho can hear.

" I haven't had sausages for a while."

 

There it is. Not that obvious, quiet but audible. The shame and pain Wonho expects of someone that has to beg for food and that is when his heart spills for the poor soul standing there. 

 

So he holds out the bag to him, ashamed himself because he is giving the stranger trash, but the others eyes light up so much Wonho can almost see it in the dark.

 

He comes closer to Wonho, takes the bag carefully, almost devoutly, as if the content was valuable.

 

Their fingers don't touch.

 

Wonho doesn't know what to think about it. He guesses he should be happy about it.

 

He is not though and that is all the more strange to him.

 

" Thank you. Thanks a lot."

 

With that and a last smile he turns away and disappears into the dark, leaving a more than confused Wonho behind.

 

Not once did he think about calling the police.

 

 

 

1-2

 

 

 

" What do you mean? He simply was there? Like... popping out of nothing?"

 

" No. More like... he was there but I didn't notice him. It was late, he wasn't that tall. And really thin."

 

Wonho follows Jooheon through the company, a sandwich in one hand, the other one busy with supporting his story.

 

" Guess what he wanted."

 

" An autograph?" Jooheon barely looks up from the clipboard in his hands.

 

Wonho softly punches his shoulder. " Are you even interested in what I have to tell you?"

 

" Sorry.", Jooheon rubs over his friends shoulder, expressing a decent enough amount of shame for not listening. " But you know we have to finish this. You need to release the song in three weeks and we don't even have the chorus yet."

 

" I know... but I can't get the poor guy out of my head. You should have seen him... "

 

Jooheon finally has an understanding and slings his free arm around Wonhos shoulders.

 

" What did the mysterious stranger want?"

 

" He is not a mysterious stranger."

 

" What is he then?"

 

Wonho can't disagree and gives in. " I guess he _is_ a mysterious stranger."

 

They continue their way down the hallway, dodge people here and there and greet politely where it is needed.

 

Wonho is the top seller of Starship Entertainment. Training all of his teenage years he finally debuted as a solo artist about three years ago. The crowd loved him since then, most of his singles reach number one of the charts and for a while now he has also taken a liking to acting.

 

Jooheon has been by his side all this time. He has been a trainee himself but never really found his passion on stage. Now he is a producer. He works mostly with Wonho but also has other artists under his wings.

 

" He smiled but...", Wonho takes another bite of his sandwich. " He was sad. I could feel it."

 

" Why would he be sad?"

 

" He tried to steal food out of the trash."

 

" Well, that is a legitimate reason to be sad and it would be strange of him to feel any other way. Poor guy. Hopefully he is fine."

 

Wonhos stomach sinks only the more when it shouldn't.

 

 

 

 

1-3

 

 

 

" What's your name?"

 

He keeps rummaging through the trash and only looks at Wonho for long enough to scoff at him.

 

" What's _your_ name?" he then asks before his attention is back on the trash.

 

" I asked first."

 

" So?"

 

He finds a half empty can of tuna, inspects it for a moment only to throw it into the bag again.

 

Wonho crouches down next to him. " You don't know me?"

 

The other eyes him from head to toe. " You're famous? Sorry, I'm not keeping up with those kind of things. I don't even have phone to call my own."

 

Wonho strangely likes the thought of him not being aware of the fact that the whole Korean population knows his name and that his face flickers over the TV screen every day, be it in a new music video, drama or variety show.

 

" Apparently I am."

 

Another gaze, not really stunned how it usually is the case with people.

 

" Okay. Good for you." he half heartedly lifts a thumb in Wonhos direction.

 

" Are you always that sarcastic?"

 

" Usually the sun is shining out of my ass but digging through other people's trash kind of gets to you."

 

Wonho can't say that he is uncomfortable with him. Sure, when they accidentally ( Wonho came outside each day of the past week around the same time) met again, it was kind of awkward.

 

Awkward for Wonho.

 

His latest night companion kept talking about everything and nothing, light stuff, and while Wonho kept being awkward for a bit longer he wasn't too sure at the same time, if the other tries to overplay his real feelings or if he really doesnt give a fuck at all. 

 

Either way, the talking helped  iand by now Wonho enjoys listening to the other without acting like a robot in response.

 

He has a nice voice. Soft, not too deep. Wonho thinks that he might be a good singer.

 

" You still haven't told me your name."

 

" You don't need to know my name."

 

" You're stealing my trash and I'm letting you without complaining."

 

" You'd be an asshole if you'd stop me."

 

Wonho can only nod in approval. " I guess you're right."

 

He doesn't have a problem with it though. Wonho is not sure, if he came here before their first meeting, but there has never been chaos. When he opens a trash bag, he does not leave the things he won't use on the ground but tidily puts them back to the rest of the trash.

 

" Shouldn't you sleep by now?"

 

He seems to have finished his search. A slightly brown banana and half a loaf of bread that still looks edible found their way into the backpack he brought today. Wonho internally chastises himself for not bringing other food.

 

Fresh food.

 

He is still way too thin. It seems to get worse the more Wonho looks at him.

 

" I'm good with less sleep than others."

 

" Get to bed or you'll get wrinkles. Celebrities don't like that, do they?"

 

Wonho chuckles quietly. " No, they don't."

 

The other gets up from where he was sitting on the ground and slings his backpack over one shoulder.

 

" Thanks though.", he nods to the trash. " There is not a lot of people who'd help me out like that."

 

" I don't think I'm helping you out in any way."

 

He gets a wink in response and almost blushes.

 

Almost.

 

" You do, trust me."

 

With that he leaves Wonho in the same spot as last time.

 

" I still don't have a name."

 

But his late night companion just waves over his back and disappears into the dark.

 

 

 

1-4

 

 

Wonho lies on the couch in the recording room, his head hanging over the arm rest. He hasn't moved the past fifteen minutes, occasionally listens to Jooheon talking to people on the phone and answers Minhyuks questions monosyllabically, or sometimes not at all.

 

" Wonho, God damn.", Minhyuk stamps his foot when Wonho simply ignores his questions for the third time. " Could you get out of your head whatever is keeping you from actually working. We got two weeks left. Two weeks. I don't care if you're rich and famous, I will still love you but that is only Minhyuk. The manager in me cares only the more so please, I beg you, move your ass."

 

" He did not tell me his name." Wonho simply says, already used to Minhyuks outbursts.

 

Minhyuk sighs deeply and massages his hurting temples. " Who the hell did not tell you his name?"

 

" The guy stealing my trash."

 

" We're back to that story?"

 

Wonho might have told everyone who didn't want to know.

 

He brings himself into a sitting position, elbows on his knees, head supported in his hands.

 

" He came back yesterday and didn't tell me his name, no matter how often I asked him."

 

"Well, if that is his wish."

 

" It's just a name." Wonho pouts and sinks back into the soft cushions.

 

" You're acting like he's your soul mate or something." Jooheon says from where he is sitting at the mixing desk.

 

" He's not.", Wonho responds. " I would know."

 

In their world, not everyone is supposed to meet their soul mates. Overpopulation, war and the breaking with old traditions let to declining of those cases.

 

Still, it is not a rare thing to find your soul mate and Wonho has dreamed of it since he was child. Soul mating doesn't necessarily mean that you will be in a romantic relationship. People still marry other persons with whom they don't have a connection if they are in a platonic relationship with their soul mate, some even go as far as hating each other but there is still no bond stronger than it.

 

Wonho will take any bond he can get. He will make it work, even if he soul mate should hate him.

 

That promise he gave himself.

 

" Oh God, please don't. Keep that away from him.", Minhyuk feels another wave of headache coming over him. " The media coverage was horrible when he simply dated people. How bad do you think it will get when he is soul mated? I'll quiet being his manager and finally move to Antiqua."

 

 

 

1 - 5

 

 

 

" You do know this is getting creepy."

 

" I brought you food."

 

Wonho holds out a box of pizza.

 

" How the hell do you even know when I come?"

 

Wonho keeps it a secret that he waits next to the trashcans at night as often as often as he finds the time. He already ate a few pizzas on his own, but today he finally came back.

 

" It's cheese pizza.", Wonho says, ignoring the others question. " I don't know about that topping craziness, but cheese pizza was and will always be the best."

 

" You're giving me this whole pizza? Just like that?"

 

" Yes."

 

His eyes narrow. " I'm not blowing you."

 

Wonho chokes on his own spit and the other chuckles. " Just joking."

 

With a happy smile he takes the offered food and simply sits down on the sidewalk where he just stood.

 

" It's been years since I've had one the last time."

 

" I thought you would like it."

 

Wonho follows his example and sits down on the warm ground. It is summer and not even during the night the temperatures fall a lot. The ground is still comfortably warm.

 

The... stranger, Wonho is not sure anymore how to call him, already took a bite. He smiles and Wonho sees the dimples underneath his eyes for the first time.

 

" Thanks."

 

After that, he keeps chewing in silence for a while and Wonho leaves him be.

 

" You want a slice."

 

Wonho declines with a smile. " I've had something. It's all yours."

 

" I've asked you, now it's too late to get one."

 

Another slice vanishes in no time.

 

" I saw you on TV.", he eventually says after taking a bite of another slice. " I walked by an electronic store yesterday. Some kind of talk show, I forgot the name but you were there. You're hair was different though."

 

He nods at Wonhos head.

 

" I prefer the black now over the red. Matches your skin tone better."

 

His lips are oily, so are his fingers. Wonho digs through his pockets and finds a pack of unused tissues he hands over to him.

 

" Thanks."

 

He takes it with his free hand and wipes over his face. " I'm trying to stay clean as much as I can. Just because I'm eating food out of trashcans doesn't mean I have to look like it."

 

" You're really open about your situation." Wonho finds himself being drawn in by the other, even though their conversation is more than odd.

 

" There isn't a lot of privacy on the streets."

 

" You got no home?"

 

" Sometimes I crash on a friends couch but I don't want to be a burden for too long. It's summer, there is no problem in staying outside all day long."

 

Another two slices found their way into his stomach by now.

 

" I don't think you're friend thinks of you as a burden."

 

" Even if he doesn't think so, I am. I can't give him money, I can only use his stuff and eat his food. I don't want to loose his friendship over this."

 

Wonho can understand, but at the same time he can't. " No soul mate?"

 

The other chuckles. " Thank God no. The poor person might throw themselves into the next pond. I'm not necessarily soul mate material."

 

He points at himself, seemingly to affirm his words, but Wonho shakes his head.

 

" Don't say that. If someone leaves you just because of your current situation, then they're not worth it either way. There is nothing wrong with you. Not at all."

 

He was about to take another bite of his pizza, but stops his hand halfway to his mouth.

Their gazes meet.

Wonhos stomach sinks uncomfortably and wonders how the hell he was able to hide all the sadness, all the fear and all the disappointment with life when it is now more than clear to him.

 

He is hurting and Wonho himself can almost feel it physically.

 

" Are you okay?" he asks carefully.

 

He knows they are in no way close, but damn it, he feels like crying himself seeing the other looking that lost from one second to another.

 

" Yeah... I'm...", he averts his gaze, slowly puts the half eaten slice of pizza back into the box. " It just has been a while... hearing something like that from... someone."

 

He takes a deep breath, exhales slowly, before he closes the pizza box.

 

" You finished?" Wonho asks.

 

The other slowly gets up and dusts his trousers off.

 

" I'm getting comfortable."

 

Wonho furrows his brows. " That means?"

 

" I have to leave."

 

" You have to leave because you're getting comfortable?"

 

He smiles again until his eyes disappear, seemingly nothing left of the emotions that just washed over him.

 

A whole new person.

'Fake', the only word resounding in Wonhos head.

 

" Getting comfortable means hating my life a tiny bit more than I already do. Thanks though.", he lifts the pizza box slightly, and bends down to fleetingly pat Wonhos back, his fingers brushing the skin of Wonhos neck for a bare second. " I appreciate it. Really. But from now on I can't come back."

 

" What do you mean? Why can't you come back?" Wonho is on his feet a second later but he already walks away in the dark.

 

" It means that you are what they said on TV: Everybody's Darling, Wonho. And Everybody's Darling should not be close to a nobody.", he turns to Wonho once more. " But I'm happy to know that what they say is true. You really have a heart of gold."

 

Then he is gone and Wonho can only watch, a strangely hollow feeling in his stomach.

 

He did not even have the chance to ask all his question. Or to help him. And how the hell can't Wonho know his name when his is no secret anymore.

 

 

 

1-6

 

 

 

Wonho wakes up a month later with a throbbing pain in his shoulder. He sits up in his bed, trying to orient himself in the room, eyes still puffy from sleeping. He reaches over to the nightstand to check the time on his phone.

 

5:12.

 

18 more minutes until he has to get up.

 

The throbbing in his shoulder gets worse and he tries to move it in tiny circles. Maybe he hurt himself during dance practise yesterday.

 He doesn't want to fall asleep again so he entangles his legs from the white blanket and slowly slips out of bed.

 

It is cold, he realizes when his naked feet touch the ground. Minhyuk must have used the aircon again and forgot to turn it off before he went to bed. It is nice living together with his oldest friend / manager but sometimes Wonho would love to kick him out.

 

He pads over to his bathroom which is connected to his room.

 

Slowly, he brushes his teeth, his eyes slipping close from time to time, the he starts the shower after spitting all the foam into the sink.

 

He walks back to the mirror while waiting for the water to turn hot.

 

" Gosh..." he mumbles to himself when his shoulder keeps hurting. He grasps his shirt at the hem and pulls it over his head to be able to take a closer look at his shoulder.

 

Minhyuk falls right out of his bed when the shrill scream echoes through their shared apartment.

 

Wonho still gapes at his own reflection when Minhyuk more or less falls into the bathroom in his hurry.

 

" What's wrong?!"

 

" Minhyuk...", Wonho stutters as he turns to him, finger pointing on his shoulder. " There..."

 

There is a name written on his shoulder that definitely hasn't been there when he went to sleep.

 

It is small, but big enough for them to read it.

 

Kihyun.

 

 

 

1-7

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk paces in front of Hyungwon and Jooheon who are currently sitting on their couch.

 

Both of them, the producer and Wonhos stylist, came over as fast as possible at this early hour of the morning, not really getting what Wonhos manager kept yelling into the speaker.

 

" So, you're telling me right now that Wonho has a soul mate?" Jooheon asks carefully but not careful enough.

 

 

" Yes! You're blind?! Look!"

 

Wonho, still too out of it to talk a lot is seated on the second couch across of them. He is wearing another shirt by now, the neck wide enough for the shirt to fall slightly over his shoulder. They can see the name perfectly fine.

 

" Kihyun.", Hyungwon reads aloud. " Sounds like a guy."

 

" That's not the problem at the moment!" Minhyuk shrieks, almost pulling out his hair. " We need to find that guy and we need to keep this secret because I'm not ready for the PR drama right after the album came out. All the female friends we're going to loose!"

 

Jooheon and Changkyun exchange a knowing gaze. Minhyuk is a talented manager but behind closes doors more often close to a mental breakdown than anything else.

 

" I don't think it's that big of a problem. " Jooheon slowly starts, not wanting to agitate Minhyuk any further.

 

Hyungwon nods in a supporting manner . " Nowadays, there's lots of celebrities who are open about it and they are accepted. Remember Minah two years ago. "

 

" Yes. Or  Lee Seung Cheol  "

 

" Genau."

 

" They are B- Liga. Who cares about them. Wonho is A- Liga! They will hype this to no end!"

 

" A- Liga or B- Liga. It could be Z for all I care.", Jooheon says calmingly. " First of all we should be happy. Hyung has always dreamed about this."

 

" Are you okay with it, hyung?" Hyungwon asks and all of the three direct their gazes to Wonho.

 

Wonho nods, having taken the time to bring some order into his thoughts.

 

Finally a smile on his lips. It is what he always waited for.

 

It is said the name of your soul mate shows up closely to the time you met your designated other for the first time, a maximum of six months after the first meeting and the first touch.

 

From now on things will be easy. He just has to go through all the Kihyuns he knows and talk to them until he finds the right one. Or simply wait for Kihyun to come to him since there is no way they will see the name and don't know who they should look for.

 

A heavy feeling of happiness settles in his stomach.

 

Finally...

 

 

 

 

1-8

 

 

 

Kihyun stares at himself in the publics toilet mirror.

 

It is not big, but to Kihyun the name on his shoulder seems gigantic.

 

Wonho.

 

There is only one person that could be his soul mate. There is only so many people Kihyun talks to, less touches in his current situation.

 

Kihyun clutches the sink until his fingers hurt.

 

He will make sure that they will never run into each other again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not yet proofread ^^*

 

2-1

 

 

2 months later

 

 

" Your first name is Kihyun?"

 

The nervous man sitting on the other side of the table nods in a hurry. Sweat gathers around his collar and Minhyuk is worried that it will soon drop to the table.

 

Disgusting.

 

He can't help but to hope that another time, he is mistaken and has the wrong guy in front of him because Wonho and that stuttering mess... only over his dead body. Not even fate can be that dumb.

 

" Yes...", the man with the glasses stutters. " Ch- Choi Kihyun."

 

Any other day Minhyuk would have described him as quite attractive but this is about Wonho, and Wonho only deserves the best.

 

" Show me your shoulder."

 

" My... my shoulder?"

 

Minhyuk sighs deeply. His patience has already reached its limit after the guy had ignored his phone call for the fifth time. " Yes, your shoulder. That thing your arm is hanging from."

 

Minhyuk is famous in the industry for being a bitch and considering his visibly shaking fingers, the man has heard as well. 

 

" But...", Choi Kihyun looks around the coffee shop. " There's peo-"

 

" For fucks sake." Minhyuk leans over the table and pulls his shirt down.

 

Nothing.

 

Only unhealthy pale skin and a mole. He internally exhales and sinks bank onto his seat. The eyes of the man are as big as saucers by now.

 

" Wh-"

 

" Please fill out this form.", without further explanation Minhyuk slams a piece of paper and a pen on the table. " Date and sign, at the bottom. You declare yourself ready not to inform any third party, be it family, friends or the media about this meeting. Should you not abide by the agreement Starship Entertainment reserves itself the right to sue you."

 

" Starship... but I'm not working there anymore."

 

Minhyuk inspects his nails. " Doesn't matter. Sign it."

 

Hastily he reaches for the pen and puts the sign on the contract without taking another look at what is written there.

 

Minhyuk knows how to change the tune of his voice to get what he wants. That is why Wonho sends him to those meetings.

 

The other is just too soft.

 

And way too famous.

 

" Thanks.", Minhyuk says as he takes the contract and gets up. " Have a nice day and... you might want a doctor to take a look after that mole. Doesn't look too..."

 

He shakes his head as if trying to get the picture out of his head, winks and leaves the booth without another word.

 

On his way to the van waiting at the street corner Minhyuk shrugs off his blazer. Way too hot, way too formal.

 

" And?"

 

Wonho almost jumps him when he is not even sitting yet.

 

Minhyuk closes the  car door with the tinted windows behind him and sinks back into the comfortable seats.

 

" You're lucky it wasn't him.", Minhyuk pushes the contract into his bag. " I was right. It was the guy from accounting. The one that smells like broccoli all the time and got way too touchy with Hyungwon. There is no fucking way I would let him be your soul mate."

 

Wonhos expression darkens, not unnoticed by Minhyuk. His friend and manager pats his back in a comforting manner. " Don't worry. We will find him."

 

 

2-2

 

 

" Don't worry. We will find him."

 

Wonho nods, but he doesn't believe in Minhyuks words anymore.

 

It has been over two months since Kihyuns name showed up on his shoulder.

 

The first days he had been ecstatic, imagining how their first meeting would be, how they would hit it off, getting to know each other. All that stuff. He had been so curious about how their bond would develop.

 

Minhyuk had told him to wait. That it would be easier if his soul mate found Wonho instead of the other way around. The chance is higher that the other will know who you are, he had said. 

 

But that was before the whole week went by and nothing happened.

 

So they sat down together with Hyungwon and Jooheon, they even got help from Wonhos choreographer Hyunwoo, and made a list of all the Kihyuns that work in close proximity to Wonho and all of the men he remembers meeting and maybe touching in the past six months.

 

They found four at Starship Entertainment and three out of the company Wonho is sure about either shaking hands with or accidentally running into.

 

But nothing.

 

With each meeting, each signed agreement, Wonho feels a heavier burden on his shoulders.

 

By now he expects his soul mate to have left the country. Maybe he is lying in a coma. Maybe he doesn't know where to look for Wonho. He wants to start a public notice, upload a video, tweet for all he cares but Minhyuk stops him. His career might never recover from the blow, like so many others did.

 

Wonho always worked hard. He loves what he does and he loves his fans and the people he works with. But as much as he always wanted to follow his dream of standing on stage, he also wanted to meet the person that was made just for him.

 

On the other hand, maybe his soul mate knows perfectly well where to find him and simply doesn't want to show up. Risking his whole career for someone like that?

 

Never.

 

Always...

 

Wonho leans his head against the cold window of the car that is now moving out of the parking lot. Minhyuk said something about an interview but Wonho only listened halfway through.

 

His body does not yet physically miss his soul mate. The bond needs to grow through close proximity. If they would never meet, he could still live with just a feeling of a simple tug in his stomach.

 

But he could never get another soul mate.

 

It is this one, or no one.

 

Sometimes, when the frustration over the situation grows too big his thoughts wander back to some stranger he met at night. In those moments he catches himself hoping that it is him. That the man he felt so comfortable around could be his soul mater.

 

But fate doesn't write stories like that.

 

 

2-3

 

 

" So, if you would find the time I'd love to have you at our company."

 

Hyungwon places his business card on the counter and shows the guy who was just about to put the rest of the cigarette packs into the shelf behind him his blinding smile that always gets him what he wants.

 

He just went into the convenience store to get himself a pack of gum before he needs to get back to Starship for one of Wonhos many photoshoots when he saw the guy behind the counter.

 

Hyungwon prides himself with having a great sense for fashion and for people who do look good in fashion, and that one working in the convenience store would definitely look awesome in jeans.

 

One of his models got sick and he needs a replacement as fast as possible.

 

" Yeah... well..."

 

Hyungwon leans against the counter, already planning everything in his head, when the other pushes the business card back to him.

 

" Thanks. But I don't think I'm meant to be a model."

 

" Yeah, sur- wait, what?!"

 

The unimaginable happens.

 

" I'm not interested."

 

He smiles politely and turns back to the cigarettes.

 

Hyungwon experiences one of those rare moments where he doesn't know what to say.

 

Hyungwon is speechless.

 

He is never speechless, and he never is out of context. He was born with a poker face ( an exorbitantly good looking poker face), his secretaries lie at his feet, people are fighting to get one of his business cards.

 

And here he gets rejected as if he is the stale gum from last week.

 

No.

 

That has to be a misunderstanding.

 

" I think you didn't get what I just told you."

 

The other looks over his shoulder. " Oh, I think I understood perfectly fine, sir. But I'm simply not interested. Even if I would I don't have the time."

 

That has to be a mistake. Hyungwon secretly takes a look at his face in the window next to him. Nope, still good looking, that can't be the problem.

 

" Hey, look.", he tries again. " Let's start all over again-"

 

With a deep sigh, the guy behind the counter turns around. He is smaller than Hyungwon and his cheeks a tiny bit red. Hyungwon thinks that talking like this is definitely not easy for him.

 

" Look, I'm trying to be polite here but you're making it hard for me. We all know how this is going to work out. You're acting like you're working for this big company, I follow you, and in the end you're trying to act like a sugar daddy to get me into bed. I know all the stories."

 

Hyungwon puts his hands on his hips, almost stumping his feet.

 

Almost.

 

" I'm no sugar daddy!"

 

" You're coat is saying something else though."

 

" This coat-", Hyungwon opens it and points at the sign inside. " - is Burberry!"

 

" And that means?" his victim asks, truly not understanding him.

 

" It's Burberry and-"

 

Hyungwon realizes that his explanation has nothing to do with the accusation and stops midsentence. He rubs over his temple where he starts to feel a piercing pain.

 

It has been a while since he has felt this flustered.

 

" Okay. Listen. I think this is a huge misunderstanding. Just please, take another look at the card. Starship Entertainment down the street. I'll be there all day long. Tomorrow as well. Just come, show someone working there the card and they will know.", he exhales deeply. " I'll be leaving then."

 

With that he exists the store.

 

Changkyun follows the retreating figure with his gaze until he disappears behind the corner.

 

He puts the cigarettes aside and takes the card into his hand.

 

" Starship..."

 

 

 

 

2-3

 

 

 

Kihyun opens the door to Changkyuns apartment.

 

It has been a while since he has been here and Kihyun kind of had hoped that the other would be home. But it is hard to communicate without a phone.

 

He puts the key Changkyun gave to him on the shelf and slowly starts to unbutton his jacket. It hurts when he tries to pull it off.

 

Fuckers always go for the ribs.

 

Something soft walks past his legs. Kihyun looks down when the black cat softly meows.

 

" Hey Honey."

 

He shouldn't bend down with his hurting ribs but he still does. The cat did nothing wrong and deserves a nice patting.

 

Honey nestles closely to him when he softly caresses his fur.

 

" Did you have a nice day?"

 

It wasn't a good idea to get on the cats level and he grimaces when the dull pain runs through his body with full force.

 

Honey meows once more and than walks over to his empty feeding dish next to the fridge.

 

" Of course. You'll get your food."

 

Kihyun slowly gets up and pulls his shoes off before he makes his way through the small room to where Changkyun keeps the cat food.

 

" Chicken or turkey?"

 

He shows Honey both cat food cans.

 

" Chicken? Good choice.", he takes a fork and starts to fill the dish he just washed. " Even though turkey would be better for your figure. You got a bit fat around the belly area."

 

Honey meows.

 

When the can is empty he puts the used fork into the sink and places the food in front of the cat who starts to eat right away.

 

With a smile Kihyun looks at him.

 

" You know, Honey, I wished I was a cat. Must be a nice life. You're getting your food served and even if you don't have a home you just hunt for a mouse."

 

Honey looks at him for a second before he keeps eating.

 

" Why I'm talking like this today? Well... I don't know. I guess it has been a long day for your hyung... a really fucking long day..."

 

Surprised he realizes how a tear drops down his cheek, followed by a second one, then a third. It doesn't turn into a flood. They drop one at a time and slowly, but continuously.

 

All of sudden it hurts again.

 

Not his ribs but everything else.

 

Everything that Kihyun thought he finally had under control. It always comes back when he thinks that he did manage to leave everything behind. That he accepted his fate. That he reached a point where it doesn't matter anymore.

 

But then he gets surprised again by how his throat constricts, how disgust comes over him, just like hopelessness and desperation.

 

" Day after day, right Honey?", he gently strokes the cats fur. " Until it ends."

 

After a few more minutes on the floor he stands up again.

 

The tears have stopped by now.

 

His gaze falls on the clock hanging at the wall and with a jolt he realizes it is almost nine already. He hurries over to the small television in the corner, the thing he actually came for.

 

There isn't a lot of furniture in Changkyuns home. A bed next to a small window, a small night table next to it. There is a small closet across of the bed on the other side of the room next to the door that leads into the small bathroom. The kitchen area is small but you can cook a decent meal there.

 

It is not a lot, but a kingdom to Kihyun.

 

He takes a seat in front of the TV and turns on the small device. First, he can only see a static, than the picture turns good enough for him to make out what is going on in the show running at the moment.

 

It has been over a month since Wonhos name appeared on Kihyuns shoulder.

 

Everyone else would have been ecstatic, but for Kihyun it was a whole new one on top of his three million other burdens.

 

There was a moment of happiness that bubbled in his chest when he saw the name. First. because he really truly has a soul mate, something not everyone has the chance to experience.

 

Then, because he knew from one second to another who the name on his shoulder belongs to. The few times he talked to him, how he didn't judge Kihyun... he meant what he told Wonho before he left for good. That he had a heart made of gold.

 

But that moment of happiness only lasted for so long.

 

Then everything came crashing back down on Kihyun. He meant what he told Wonho at last, he also meant what he said before.

 

That his soul mate was pitiful for having them connected to Kihyun.

 

Kihyun is not supposed to be around people for too long, and he will not get close to anyone, especially his soul mate, because he will not pull them into the mess that Yoo Kihyun became.

 

But having a designated other is a tricky thing. You can be without them if the bond is not strong yet but Kihyun can still feel the tugging in his gut.

 

He is not able to completely cut himself off.

 

That is why he steals himself into Changkyuns apartment more often than usually because Changkyun has a TV and the TV is where Kihyun can find Wonho.

 

The movie starts.

 

Kihyun saw it in one of the newspapers he found in the park earlier. It is a re-run, one of the first movies Wonho ever appeared in, he learned through the short article. He memorized the screening time to get to Changkyuns apartment on time.

 

It is now, when the movie starts, the opening credits disappear and Wonho finally shows up that the heaviness on his shoulders seems to get lifted a bit.

 

Kihyun rarely truly smiles anymore.

 

There is not a lot of things in this world that make him happy, but when he can watch Wonho on screen he finds his smile again, accompanied by a warm feeling in his chest.  

 

Soul mating is a strange thing, isn't it.

 

Kihyun is so concentrated on the movie that he doesn't notice how  someone opens the door. Only when Changkyun is already inside does he realize that he is not alone anymore.

 

" Kihyun!"

 

It is a wonder Changkyun remembers to pull off his shoes before he almost runs over to Kihyun who is still sitting on the floor.

 

" You're here!"

 

When Kihyun sees Changkyun for the first time after weeks, he regrets staying away for so long in an instance.

 

He has known Changkyun for along time now, since before he ended up on the streets. The younger has always followed Kihyun around, always wanting to do what the older does.

 

Not a lot changed over the years.

 

Changkyun, the small boy who always looked up to him is now a big boy and still, his eyes look at Kihyun as if there is nothing better in the world than him.

 

Kihyun feels the shame again that has become a faithful companion. The shame of Changkyun having to see him like this.

 

But there are other emotions, bigger than that when Changkyun looks at him as if he truly missed Kihyun.

 

If there is something Kihyun loves in this world and that brings him happiness, then it is Changkyun.

 

Definitely, without having to think twice.

 

" I'm here. The one and only." he says and winks at his younger friend.

 

Switching is so easy.  Burying the wrong Kihyun beneath a nice remark, behind a smirk.

 

" I was so worried about you!"

 

From one second to another Changkyun hugs him tightly and another wave of pain runs through Kihyun. He didn't want the other to notice but Changkyun seems to have felt the wince through the embrace.

 

He releases Kihyun and takes in his appearance.

 

" Are you hurt?"

 

" Just a bruised rib."

 

" What happened?"

 

Kihyun smiles at him and ruffles through his short brown hair. " Nothing you need to worry about."

 

" Kihyun.."

 

Kihyun remembers why he doesn't show up at the others house a lot anymore.

 

The pain in the others eyes over Kihyuns circumstances is just too much to take.

 

If Changkyun could decide, Kihyun would live with him in this small apartment. He keeps talking about sharing the bed with Kihyun until they can buy another one. And maybe, when he finally is able to attend college he can get a good job and rent a bigger apartment, with a room for each of them and a small cat house for Honey.

 

But Kihyun can't.

 

There is things he hasn't told Changkyun yet because the other is too pure in Kihyuns eyes.

 

He is the calm anchor Kihyun can retreat too when he can't handle the outside world anymore. And for nothing in the world will he destroy that.

 

" I've wanted to watch a movie." Kihyun says to change the topic.

 

" Was it good?"

 

" I only watched half of it but that Wonho is the worst actor I've ever seen."

 

He is lying. Wonho is awesome.

 

" Really? I've always liked his work."

 

" You must be blind."

 

" Do you want to finish it?" Changkyun asks.

 

Kihyun is tempted for a moment but he notices how much Changkyun aches to talk to him so he shakes his head.

 

" It's fine. Come.", he slowly gets up and softly pushes Changkyun over to the table. " Tell me what you've been up to."

 

 

 

2-6

 

 

Changkyun regrets coming to Starship Entertainment the next morning. But he had googled the guys name before coming here and it really showed up on the companies page.

 

Chae Hyungwon.

 

Maybe he did him injustice with the sugar daddy.

 

The lobby he finds himself in is huge and people seem to be too busy to even care that he is totally lost and doesn't know where to go.

 

The guy behind the reception desk has been on the phone for ten minutes and by now Changkyun is sure he is just doing that so he doesn't have to talk to him. Changkyun takes a look at his clothes he chose so carefully this morning. Maybe he still radiates poor to the people.

 

He sighs deeply and takes another look at the card in his names. Just a name and a phone number. No floor, no office. Like hell will Changkyun call him. That has never been his strength.

 

Until last night he hadn't even planned to come to the company. Not at all. The card was long forgotten in his trousers.

 

But then Kihyun showed up at his home.

 

Gosh, every time he leaves Changkyun misses the older so much and sometimes he can't sleep out of sheer worry.

 

Kihyun lost weight again, Changkyun saw yesterday, not to mention his ribs. Changkyun is pretty sure their not just bruised but plain broken.

 

But Kihyun doesn't listen to him, never has.

 

No matter how much Changkyun begged yesterday, Kihyun left after giving him a tight hug, apologizing and promising him that he would take care of himself and that he would be back.

 

Until now he kept those promises but Changkyun is scared, so scared, that one day he will get a call and things won't be okay anymore.

 

That is why he is here today.

 

Kihyun doesn't want to be a burden for him, that is clear to Changkyun.

 

But if that guy is right and he could be a model, than maybe he can earn money with that. Lots of money so Kihyun finally doesn't feel like a burden anymore and will stay home where he belongs to.

 

Having found new determination, Changkyun makes his way over to the elevator where he finds a board with all the offices located in the company listed. But studying those names closer he realizes that Chae Hyungwons name can't be found anywhere.

 

If he wouldn't already feel out of place he might have hit his forehead against the wall, but he stops himself from it.

 

He really doesn't need the attention right now.

 

While he is having an internal monologue with himself, another person joins him in front of an elevator and presses the button.

 

He quietly whistles a song to himself, seemingly lost in his own world and a lot less stressed looking than all the other people running up and down the lobby.

 

Changkyun braces up and slowly approaches the guy.

 

" Ehm... excuse me..."

 

" Hhh?"

 

The other looks at him with wide eyes as if Changkyun pulled him right out of a daydream.

 

" Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb. I'm looking for someone."

 

Changkyun already expects the other to ignore him - it did not happen to him two times already, not at all - but he earns himself a smile instead.

 

" Sure."

 

Changkyun sighs in relief.

 

Finally someone who is not stuck up enough to look down on a peasant like him.

 

He shows the other the business card. " Chae Hyungwon. He told me if I show that card someone will bring me to him but everyone... seems to be too busy and his name is not on the board."

 

" Oh wow, look at that. Hyungwons much sought-after business card. What did you do to get one?"

 

" I sold him a pack of gums."

 

" And that is the least you have to do.", he nods to the elevator that just arrived. " Come, I'll bring you there. I need to talk to him either way."

 

They enter the elevator together.

 

" I'm Jooheon by the way." he says as he presses the button to the fourth floor.

 

" Changkyun."

 

They are alone in the elevator but if Changkyun expected an awkward silence it is everything but that he gets.

 

Jooheon keeps talking about everything and nothing, even when they are already outside the elevator and walking down the hallway which is less populated than the lobby.

 

" I'm a producer."

 

" Really?" Changkyun says in real astonishment.

 

" Have you listened to Wonhos new album?"

 

" Yeah. The title track is number one on Naver."

 

Jooheon points at himself. " My work."

 

" No way."

 

" If you start working for us I'll show you the mix room once."

 

Changkyun nods heavily. That is something he always wanted to see from the inside.

 

" There we are."

 

They stop in front of a room. Dull music filters through to them but what Changkyun can feel the most is the base sound. When he peeks through the window in the door he can see a huge mirror wall.

 

" Hyungwon always acts really busy but most of the times he is just hanging out with one of us."

 

" One of you?"

 

But Jooheon already opened the door and pushes him inside.

 

The music is unbelievable loud and for a second Changkyun wants to press both his hands over his ears. But someone has an understanding and turns the music off a few seconds later.

 

" Jooheon!"

 

" Wonho!"

 

Before Changkyun can even make out other people in the room there is already a loud something, or someone, hanging from Jooheon like a leech, and when he takes a closer look that someone seems awfully familiar.

 

" Where have you been all day?" Wonho whines.

 

Yes, Wonho.

 

Changkyun almost chokes at the view of the famous man.

 

" You left me alone with Hyungwon and Minhyuk!"

 

" We can hear you." A blonde one calls over from the couch.

 

Jooheon laughs out loud, both of his arms still around Wonho. " Sorry. I got some discussions with big boss."

 

Wonho releases him and Changkyun has to keep it together because he looks much cooler close by than on screen, if that is even possible.

 

" Who are you?" he says when his gaze falls on Changkyun.

 

" I found him outside." Jooheon answers for him and Changkyun will be eternally grateful because all of sudden he forgot how to speak.

 

" He says you gave him your business card, Hyungwon." he calls over to a lump on the couch that now moves. The familiar head of Chae Hyungwon appears underneath a blanket. He seems to have taken a nap and Changkyun seriously wonder how he was able to sleep with the music on.

 

" What?"

 

He scratches his head, still looks a bit disoriented as he takes in his surroundings but then his gaze zooms in on Changkyun and within a second he is on his feet, blanket on the floor.

 

" I knew you would come!" he yells, finger pointed at him.

 

Changkyun regrets coming here.

 

Hyungwon storms over to them, successfully stomping on Jooheons foot but ignoring the yelp.

 

" You decided to be my model?"

 

" Eh..."

 

" Hyungwon.", Wonho carefully says from the side. " I think you're scaring the boy. Just a tiny bit."

 

" He called me a sugar daddy!"

 

" Did you wear the coat again?" the blonde calls over from the couch.

 

" It's Burberry!"

 

" I keep telling you bro, but you won't listen."

 

" Just ignore them."

 

Wonho pushes the still yelling Hyungwon to the side and smiles warmly at Changkyun. " I'm Wonho. Nice to meet you."

 

" Changkyun. It's...", he averts his gaze to the ground, nothing left of his earlier courage in front of the star. " It's nice to meet you, too."

 

Woah, Changkyun. Fucking lame. Congratulations.

 

Wonho chuckles. " Do you maybe have an idea why Hyungwon keeps yelling so much?"

 

" He.. gave me a business card."

 

" Ah.", Wonho nods in understanding. " The infamous business cards. That does make sense. You are chosen, Changkyun."

 

By now, the blonde from the couch has joined them as well. He eyes Changkyun from head to toe. " You want him as a model?"

 

" Yes.", Hyungwon finally seems to have calmed down and by now there is something like a triumphant smile on his lips. " Never doubt my eye for fasion."

 

" Oh, I haven't said anything. He's cute. He's supposed to fill in for Soo?"

 

" Yepp.", Hyungwon rubs his hands. " He'll look awesome in Jeans."

 

Changkyun successfully gets scared under their gazes.

 

All of sudden, he has an arm around his shoulder. " I guess that means I can welcome you to the group?"

 

They were right about Wonho on TV, Changkyun thinks in awe. He truly has a heart of gold.

 

 

 

 

2 - 7

 

 

 

 

Wonhos body is literally yelling for a break by now, but he ignores the pain in his limbs, the weakness in his legs and grimly keeps running.

 

However, today his body is fed up with the excessive work out and Wonho notices that the hurtful way when his legs give way and he falls from the treadmill like a bag of potatoes.

 

There he lies on the floor, heavily breathing, sweat everywhere and he is only happy about the fact that this late at night the companies fitness studio is almost deserted.

 

For a moment he closes his eyes, tries to steady his breath and to suppress the rising frustration.

 

Nothing, nothing at all seems to work out for him at the moment and it drives the usually so calm Wonho up the walls.

 

" Told you you'd end up on the floor."

 

Someone presses a cold bottle to his cheek.

 

Wonho only reluctantly opens his eyes. It is Minhyuk that crouches next to him, the water bottle in his hands.

 

" I stumbled."

 

" You've _stumbled_ because you ran way too long."

 

Wonho spares him the answer. He lifts himself in a sitting position and takes the bottle without drinking anything. A drop of sweat falls from his forehead to the ground between his legs.

 

" I told you I would never again carry you home. You've been too heavy since 2016. "

 

" You don't have to."

 

" After an hour of running?"

 

" I didn't run an-"

 

His gaze falls on the digital watch at the wall.

 

Shortly after twelve.

 

Wonho feels like the worst friend ever for letting Minhyuk wait that long.

 

" I'm sorry for keeping you here this long. I lost track of time."

 

" I wasn't bored.", Minhyuk points behind himself. " Look who I found outside."

 

Changkyun is standing in the doorway, waving cautiously at Wonho. Wonho does the same.

 

It has been around a month now since Changkyun appeared at the company und Wonho already took the younger into his heart. Like all of them did, but in contrast to Jooheon and himself Hyungwon and Minhyuk would never admit it without the threat of great pain.

 

Changkyun fits well into their small group.

 

Now that he spend a few hours almost every day at the company, all of his initially shyness is gone and he engages in verbal fights with Hyungwon almost every day. Minhyuk takes him out for lunch breaks and even pays for him, which is close to an accolade. Minhyuk loves his money where it is - safely on his bank account. And just two days ago Wonho found him together with Jooheon in the recording room. Changkyun has done a few model shootings by now, nothing big and only for future use, but Wonho thinks that his passion might lie behind a micro, not in front of a camera.

 

With Wonho, Changkyun seems to be the most calm. In the beginning, he couldn't even look the other into the eyes, but now he keeps asking Wonho about everything that comes up in his mind, always waits for the older with a bottle of water after dance practise and sometimes he takes his nap in Wonhos lap.

 

All in all a great he is a great addition to their group.

 

Wonho does not yet know everything about him but he is looking forward to becoming close with the younger.

 

" What are you doing here this late?" he asks the Changkyun as the younger comes closer.

 

" Hyungwon talked to me about some outfits."

 

" You'll never be able to leave him again."

 

Changkyun smiles, not necessarily looking displeased by the fact. " I don't mind."

 

Wonho opens his water bottle and finally drinks a bit of water.

 

" I'm still sorry for staying so long." he repeats, now addressing Minhyuk again.

 

Minhyuk chuckles quietly and ruffles through his hair.

 

" You needed to get everything out of your system."

 

" It's still there though."

 

Wonho has had a bad day, maybe the worst in a long row of candidates.

 

He loves his life in front of the camera, loves his fans who support him with all they have. Still, there are times where he just wants to give up everything.

 

Times like today when he wakes up to find himself in every tabloid, pictures of him when he was younger - how the hell did they get them - and a lot chubbier than today. Seeing the pictures and reading the sometimes harsh comments he feels like being back in his younger body, having to defend himself from the other kids in class.

 

Horrible times he didn't want to get reminded of ever again but here the pictures are.

 

Everyone always tells him he is perfect, but he feels far from it on days like this. So far from it that he finds himself in a fitness studio late at night, training until he collapses, even though he should sleep after his long schedule that kept him busy all day long.

 

Yes, definitely a shitty day.

 

Not to mention the fact that he still hasn't found his soul mate, something he can't seem to forget even for the slightest moment.

 

Successful  comeback, TV productions, fans,  everything doesn't seem to be that important anymore over that fact. Hell, even those pictures don't matter compared to it.

 

" Damn..." he mumbles when hot tears gather in his eyes. He roughly wipes over his eyes.

 

" Hyung...", Changkyun says in worry but Wonho simply shakes his head.

 

" I'm okay."

 

"  I made sure the articles will be taken down until tomorrow."

 

Minhyuk knows that it isn't the only reason for his horrible mood, but he doesn't say anything in front of Changkyun. The newest addition to their group doesn't know yet that Wonho has a soul mate.

 

Supposedly.

 

" Come.", Minhyuk says and pulls at his arm. " Let's get you home. A hot shower, something to eat and then we will get you into bed."

 

Wonhos stomach starts to grumble that moment. He blushes as he slowly gets up with both Minhyuks and Changkyuns help.

 

" Are you hurting somewhere?" Minhyuk eyes him from head to toe.

 

Wonho shakes his head. " The only thing hurting is my ego."

 

" The only one that saw you is us. And the janitor. And maybe one or two trainees. No need to worry."

 

" Thanks, Minhyuk." Wonho groans but then chuckles when the other wriggles his eyebrows at him.

 

" Let's go." he slings an arm around Changkyuns shoulder and together they leave the fitness studio for the entrance.

 

" Let's meet outside."; Minhyuk says in front of the changing rooms. " I forgot something in my office."

 

" Sure. You want to accompany him, Changkyun?"

 

The other nods and follows Minhyuk to the elevators.

 

Wonho puts his sweaty clothes into his bag, decides to shower at home and slips into a fresh pair of sweatpants and a wide shirt before he puts on his warm jacket. It is fall by now. The days are still warm but sometimes Wonho catches himself being cold at night.

 

After changing he slowly makes his way over to the elevator and takes it down to the first floor.

 

Wonhos stomach starts to feels strange when he leaves the elevator. No wonder, after not eating half of the day and training excessively.

 

Close to the electric doors it gets worse. Wonho manages to take his ID card out of his trouser. He swipes it over the designated spot and the doors open for him.

 

Relieved, he takes in the fresh night air but it only helps his stomach a bit. Soon, everything starts to spin around him and the strange feeling in his stomach turns into that of nausea.

 

Damn, Wonho thinks to himself as he supports himself on the wall, world still spinning around him.

 

But nothing helps so he unceremoniously sinks down to the floor.

 

Sitting there, back supported against the wall behind him he is better from one second to another. Even though there is a loud beeping noise in his ears and he still feels like throwing up, at least the world doesn't spin around him anymore. 

 

He closes his eyes when someone approaches him and keeps them closes. Minhyuk has to wait a moment longer until Wonho can tell him that he is not going to die.

 

Just a moment...

 

But the hand that touches his shoulder is not Minhyuks. It is smaller, colder, not the comfortable warmth that Wonho associates with his friend. And why would Minhyuk breath heavily as if he had been running here?

 

Wonho opens his eyes, sees shoes, black trousers in front of him. Slowly his gaze wanders up, stops at wide opened eyes that are so familiar to him that it throws him off the track right that instant.

 

 

 

2-7

 

 

Kihyun never wanted Wonho to notice him.

 

He isn't sure himself why he showed up at the company this late at night. Maybe because he survived another long day, maybe because the tugging in his gut grew too annoying to ignore anymore.

 

He just planned to pace the street in front of the building, deep down hoping that he could catch a glimpse of Wonho, somehow also hoping that he wouldn't.

 

It was stupid.

 

So stupid. One of his worst ideas ever.

 

And still he came.

 

Shortly after twelve Kihyun decides that it is time to leave. He saw many people come and go, but never Wonho. Maybe he was busy somewhere else. Celebrities always have something to do, don't they.

 

He is already about to leave when he sees another lonely person leave the company.

 

His heart stops for a moment, when he recognizes Wonho in the dim lights of the parking lot. Or it beats again, who the hell knows or cares.

 

The only thing Kihyun is sure about is, that he shouldn't have come. How much he regrets coming because the sight of his... soul mate... makes him want to do things like... go there.. greet him... tell him that it is him, Kihyun, he is supposed to meet.

 

All the things he shouldn't.

 

But Wonho doesn't look well.

 

From where he is waiting on the sidewalk Kihyun can see that he almost stumbles outside the door. He supports himself on the wall and Kihyuns mouth goes dry.

 

It is most probably Changkyun for whom Kihyun wants to live. But Wonho, how strange it sounds even for himself, is the one that keeps Kihyun alive, if he wants to or not.

 

For the first time Kihyun gets to know a tiny fragment of what it means to have a soul mate and to care for them.

 

If he can't live a good life, than Wonho has to at least. A safe life, a protected life. There is no way he can simply leave when he is clearly unwell.

 

Kihyun already runs over before he realizes what his body is doing.

 

As if all the pressure he felt the past weeks just washed over him at once.

 

Wonho is on the floor by now and Kihyun wants him to get up, wants him to do anything that shows that he is fine.

 

Kihyun arrives in front of him, his heart in his mouth.

 

Because of the short sprint, and the nervousness, because of the worry.

 

Why is he sitting there? What's wrong with him... is he...

 

Reality catches Kihyun when Wonho slowly lifts his head and their gazes meet.

 

He still tries to catch his breath, realizes that he touched him by the shoulder.

 

It hits him with full force.

 

What did he do...

 

Why is he standing here...

 

They weren't supposed to meet ever again. Kihyun isn't what Wonho is supposed to have.

 

Wonho looks at him, unmoving, then his mouth opens lightly as if he wants to say something but Kihyun already retreats slowly.

 

What the hell did he do.,,

 

" Wonho, are you--"

 

Kihyun winces when the door opens again, first sees an unfamiliar blonde man, almost winces again when there is Changkyun all of sudden.

 

What is Changkyun doing here...

 

Changkyun can't know. He simply can't.

 

He will get to know everything about Kihyun. All the dirty secrets, the dark past. The Kihyun that is afraid, who is scared of everything and everyone, the Kihyun that wants nothing more than to be saved. The Kihyun he has been pushing away so well until now.

 

" Hyung?", Changkyun pauses. " Kihyun...?"

 

Wonhos head spins around to stare at Changkyun and Kihyun knows that by now there is no chance that the other can't be aware of who is standing in front of him.

 

So he does what he always did best.

 

Kihyun turns his back to them and runs away.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My phone broke, my laptop broke, I broke but I managed after having to rewrite this three times~ I'm not tooooo happy but for now it is up~ I hope you still enjoy.

3-1 

 

Kihyun is running through the night, way too fast and way too far for his thin and weak body. His lungs burn by now and his side hurts like hell when his body finally gives in and he has to stop.

 

He staggers over to a close by tree, only to hold onto the thick trunk.

 

" Fuck, fuck, fuck..." he mutters to himself, slightly banging his forehead against the bark in the same rhythm as he sputters the words.

 

He had lost it. In front of everyone.

 

In front of Changkyun who has been looking up to him since he was a child.

 

What the hell was the other even doing there? How is Kihyun supposed to make an excuse now, after he saw?

 

His legs almost give in under him.

 

" Fuck..." he repeats continuously, like a mantra that will finally bring him the solution to how explain things without reveal others.

 

He tried so hard to keep everything under a safe cover and now everything will be blown because of one weak moment?

 

Once more, his forehead meets the tree, his fingers hurt when they scratch over the bark.

 

" Hyung."

 

Kihyun winces when Changkyuns voice sounds behind him.

 

He should have expected the younger to follow and find him on a day where everything goes wrong. The odds are stacked against him.

 

" Hyung..." Changkyun repeats, his breathing still heavy from running too much.

 

By the sound of steps he is approaching Kihyun.

 

'Nothing, it is nothing', Kihyun wants to say like he does all the time. But when he finally finds the courage and turns to Changkyun all of the determination to go through with it once more crumbles.

 

Changkyuns chest is heaving heavily, there is sweat on his forehead and his cheeks are a dark red. He had run after Kihyun even though the other left him without so much as a word.

 

Kihyun feels like the worst shit ever. He does not deserve Changkyun the slightest.

 

" Hyung... when did you stop telling me about things?"

 

His words hit deep. Kihyun can feel them like a punch in his gut when he is the one who perfectly well knows when and why it started. He still finds himself praying to anything out there that it will be something Changkyun never has to deal with.

 

But this here, this new secret involving Wonho, he might be able to share with the younger.

 

No.

 

He has to because by now the disappointment in Changkyuns eyes is way too big for Kihyun to handle and he fears if he runs again there will be a crack in their relationship he might not be able to fix.

 

So, without giving it any more thought, Kihyuns hand slowly wanders to his shoulder and without further ado he pulls his sweater down.

 

The blank ink stands in a strong contrast to his light skin and even from the few metres apart and in the dim light of a street lamp Changkyun can read the name.

 

He catches his breath.

 

" Is this what I think it is?"

 

Kihyun nods.

 

" Does he... does he know?"

 

" By his reaction."

 

Changkyun swallows heavily, slowly manages to control his breaths as the seconds go by.

 

" But...", he shakes his head. " Why would you run then?"

 

Kihyun simply shrugs.

 

" How the hell am I supposed to talk to him?"

 

“What do you mean?”

  
“ Look at me, Changkyun. Take a good look.”, Kihyun points at himself, the wreck he is.  " How the fuck can I be next to him? I stole food out of his trash. I take showers in public baths. It has been too long since anyone considered giving me a job that pays the bills. I'm literally the end of the food chain."

 

He laughs out loud, a bitter sound in the night. " I just wanted to take a look at him from afar because that feeling of longing just wouldn't disappear. But he looked unwell and before I realized I stood in front him. My legs just moved, as if someone or something was pulling me there."

 

He shrugs helplessly, not knowing what to do with his body all in the open, averts his gaze but even concentrating on nothing in the dark doesn't stop the tears from falling by now.

 

" Some people are just not supposed to be together, Changkyun. The older I get the more I realize how true that fact is. Something out there is having a good laugh at me for putting Wonho and me in this situation. But I... I'm just so ashamed and so... so sorry to him, you can't imagine... you can't imagine how sorry I am to him for being stuck with me. "

Not even a second later arms softly circle around his shaking body.

  
Changkyuns hug is warm, like always and for a blissful second Kihyun can hide himself away from the world that has been so hard for him to deal with these days. He finds himself snuggling closer to the other, crying silently like he always does but this time without trying to hide the tears from Changkyun.

  
" I never knew you were such an idiot.", Changkyun mumbles, while his hand softly pats Kihyuns back in a soothing, slow rhythm. " On a normal day I can't come up with something Yoo Kihyun can't do but outrunning your soul mate is a bit too much, even for you.”

 

" If you say it like that it really sounds stupid."

 

" It is supposed to."

 

And Kihyun quietly chuckles. Between all the tears and the stress and the hurting, the disappointment and the fear of what is to come he manages to chuckle only the slightest, because deep down he knows that Changkyun is right.

 

It takes another minute for him to get a hang of himself enough that he can slowly detach himself from his friend. Changkyun pulls his sleeve over his hand and wipes over Kihyuns wet cheeks.

 

" I have not seen you for weeks and this is what I'm running into?"

 

" I wasn't planning to stumble into you."

 

" You are supposed to save _me_ from accidentally killing myself. You can't sink down on my level. I'd have to rethink my whole life."

 

There is no malice in his words, only worry and something that Kihyun interprets as relief.

  
Maybe for once Kihyun did the right thing.

  
" Hyung."

 

" Hmm?"

 

Changkyun wipes the last tear away and his hand sinks on Kihyuns shoulder and stays there as a warm weight.

 

" I don't know all the connections yet and I know there is a whole bunch of things you're still keeping from me."

 

Kihyun averts his gaze to the ground at that but Changkyun forces him to look back up.

 

" But what I get is that Wonho is your soul mate. You know, he seems to know. And no matter how far you try to run from it, you won't be able to. This is literally tattooed on you.", he softly jabs into Kihyuns shoulder with his finger. " I got to know that guy over the past weeks and you're the luckiest person I know. And -"

 

Kihyun already wants to disagree in an instant but Changkyun shakes his head, motions for him not to talk, followed by such an affectionate smile that Kihyun almost starts to cry again.

 

" - and he is so much more lucky for getting you. So stop talking like that. How dare you be ashamed of yourself?"

 

" I..." Kihyun is speechless but Changkyun simply takes his hand in his.

 

" Don't run. Lets face him."

 

And for tonight, in a sudden rush of 'What if's' swirling in his head, Kihyun complies.

 

 

 

3-2

 

 

 

He wasn't... he wasn't supposed to run from him, was he?

 

Kihyun was supposed to stay right next to him so that the horrible tugging feeling in Wonhos stomach would finally disappear, in order for him to finally sleep well again at night. To finally being able to develop some kind of relationship.

 

But why is Kihyun doing the only thing he is not supposed to do? Why is he running away?

 

Why the hell would he come to him only to leave him standing?

 

" Wonho!"

 

A hand clasps his wirst in an iron grip and stops Wonho from running down the street any further.

 

Wait...

 

Running?

 

For the first time in what feels like a eternity Wonho lifts his head and takes a look at his surroundings. He is not in front of the company any more, but somewhere down the street close to the book store were he enjoys to read a book when there is enough time and not a lot of people outside.

 

How the hell did he get here?

 

" What are you doing?", Minhyuk asks with wide eyes. " Why are you running after them, why is Changkyun running after that guy... why the hell is everyone running from someone?!"

 

Running, right...

 

He saw Changkyun following Kihyun and that's when his legs seemed to move on his own.  

 

Wonho nervously licks over his lips, his gaze wanders up and down the deserted street.

 

" You saw where they went?"

 

" I was too preoccupied not loosing you, dickhead.", Minhyuk retorts, eyes on his surroundings. " If anyone saw this, what do you think you'll wake up to tomorrow? The news will be full of this. Come."

 

He pulls Wonho over into an alley between two buildings.

 

" Now you better explain to me what the hell got into you." Minhyuk then says, arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

" If I knew that..."

 

" Wonho."

 

Wonho knows better than to aggravate Minhyuk further when he is using that voice. There has been more than one occasion where he was the receiving end of the others wrath.

  
So he pushes aside the urge to simply keep running and stays rooted next to his friend.

 

" You heard Changkyun calling him?"

 

" No. Would I've been enlightened if I had?”

 

" Kihyun. He called him Kihyun."

 

''What?!“ The yell slips out of his mouth before Minhyuk can even think about keeping it down.

 

Wonho more than perfectly understands the others reaction and nods. '' Yes. I think you got the picture.“

 

" You don't want to tell me that your soul mate is him? Have you ever met that guy before?"

 

 " I did. He even touched me."

 

" When?"

 

Wonho massages his hurting temples, eyes closed. " He's the one I told you about. The homeless guy."

 

For the first time today Minhyuk is speechless. Maybe even for the first time in a month.

 

" You want to tell me that the guy digging through your trash is your soul mate?" he then says, disbelief audible in his voice.

 

" That's not relevant at the moment.", Wonho lifts his hands in a helpless motion. " He's gone. Everything inside of me is screaming that he is the one and he just runs. What the hell am I supposed to do?"

  
From one second to another, panic with its cold fingers reaches for him again.

  
Kihyun is running from him, he is running and Wonho doesn't know where to. Not finding him means to live with a broken soul bond for the rest of his life. He barely managed to ignore that tingling feeling in his stomach for the past weeks, how an anyone expect him to do this for literally forever?

  
" -nho! Your phone!"

 

Again it is Minhyuk who brings him back to earth.

 

He pats Wonhos pocket. " Your phone. Answer it."

 

For a moment Wonho contemplates ignoring it for the sake of his existential crisis, but then he decides against it. Phone calls at this hour of the day have to be important.

 

The device almost shatters on the ground when he sees Changkyuns name on the screen.

 

" Changkyun!"

 

" Hyung.", Changkyun says quietly. " Are you still close to the company?"

 

" Yes, yes! Have you- ", Wonho barely manages to keep his voice down. " Are you with him?"

 

" You mean Kihyun?"

 

" Yes."

 

" Yeah, he's sitting next to me."

 

Wonho swallows heavily but it doesn't help his dry mouth. He clings to his phone, every second that Changkyun needs to sort out his thoughts a second too long.

 

" I saw his shoulder. Your name is tattooed there."

 

Wonho knew by now but hearing the confirmation out of Changkyuns mouth almost pulls the legs from underneath him. He holds on to Minhyuk who is standing close to him.

 

" By chance, do you have..." Changkyun stops mid sentence.

 

" His name on my shoulder?", Wonho finishes for him. " I have. Have had for a few weeks now."

 

" Okay... I see." the other says quietly.

 

Wonho doesn't want to pressure him but by now it feels like standing on glass shards. He is about to continue asking when Changkyun keeps talking.

 

" Hyung.”

  
“Yes?”

  
'' Believe me when I tell you that I knew nothing about this and it will take a while for me to figure out what to make out of the situation. I don't even want to imagine how you feel but still... would it be possible for you to come here? Hyung, he's still shaken but he says he's ready to talk.”

 

Wonho walks before Changkyun can even tell him where they can be found.

 

 

 

3-3

 

 

 

Wonhos body shows him that they are close before he can see them.

 

First, he doesn't think about the slight tingling in his finger tips that slowly wanders to his stomach. It is too faint for him to be aware of it underneath the horrible nervousness he is experiencing the closer he gets to their meeting point.

 

Then, when Minhyuk and him round another corner he can finally see Changkyun from afar. A second later, Wonhos gaze gets stuck on a figure a few metres away from Changkyun. As soon as he sees Kihyun the earlier tingling feeling grows so strong that his stomach seems to pounce once.

 

Wonho looks at himself in surprise.

 

Is it the bond realizing that his counterpart is close by?

 

No matter what it is, Wonho doesn't mind. The feeling is far more pleasant then the nervousness that lets him barely think straight.

 

Changkyun glances up when they cross the street. Relief washes over his face when he recognizes them and he swiftly approaches the two, after throwing another glance at Kihyun sitting beneath a tree.

  
When they meet each other halfway Wonho takes Changkyuns outstretched hands into his.

 

" I'm so sorry, I really had no clue."

 

" It's okay.", Wonho squeezes his hands and manages to muster a smile. " It's not like I have told you about my situation."

 

" But... I should have known. We've been friends for years and this is soul mating we're talking about. How the fuck cou-”

 

" Changkyun.", Wonho softly stops him from ranting. " That's not important now."

  
“ I just can't seem to get my head around it.”

  
Minhyuk scoffs from behind Wonhos back. “ Trust me, you're not alone.”

 

Wonho peeks over Changkyuns shoulder. Kihyun averts his gaze, arms circled around his bent legs.

 

" Is he okay?"

 

Changkyun nods, deep exhaustion visible on his face. " Yeah. For now he calmed down... He...", he subtly nods over to Kihyun. " It's difficult for him."

 

" Is it okay for me to approach him?"

 

" He said it's fine so... go for it, I guess."

 

Minhyuk takes Changkyun by his hand and softly pulls him to his side. '' Go, Wonho. Changkyun and I will have a nice talk over there, won't we?“

 

Changkyun does't seem to peachy about the prospect but he nevertheless nods and stays next to Minhyuk who has an arm around his shoulders by now.

 

Wonho smiles at them before he takes a deep breath and slowly makes his way over to the lonely figure in the semi darkness.

 

Kihyun lifts his head when Wonho is a few steps away.

 

'He looks tired', Wonho thinks to himself.

 

Other than that not a lot changed. His hair is still dark, his clothes still look a bit too wide and he is still way too thin for Wonhos liking.

 

But even though nothing changed, everything changed. Now, Wonho doesn't look at a simple stranger any more, one in a million that he could meet at any day and forget about in a matter of seconds.

 

No.

 

Something out there decided that they belong together, linked by a force everyone knows but no one understands and Wonho still can't understand why it was him that got so lucky.

 

When their gazes meet Kihyun seems to freeze like Wonho does.

 

Wonho can see, how his fingers clench his arms, how the soles of his shoes scrape over the ground as if he tries to find a better holding. All the while there is so much worry in his eyes, Wonho can almost feel it.

 

But all of that is fine.

 

Wonho does not know himself what comes across him. Is he still nervous by now? Does he want to throw up into the bushes close by? What is that knot that has been his stomach until a while ago?

 

But then, when he is only a step away, a feeling that he can easily read spreads inside of him.

 

Now, that he is so close that he can almost touch Kihyun by simply reaching out for him, he knows that it is simple content that fills him up until his finger tips.

 

Finally, the breath that he's been holding in the whole time leaves his body and he heavily sinks down on the ground, mere centimetres apart from Kihyun.

 

At last, the bond got what it yearned for. His soul mate is next to him.

 

Kihyun winces when Wonho settles next to him. His hands move to his sides and touch the ground as if he wants to push himself back on his feet. His eyes are wide when Wonho lifts his gaze to finally take his face in.

 

He can't help but to smile, a beam so bright he didn't know he could muster under such an emotional pressure.

 

" I found you... Gosh... you can't imagine how happy I am to finally have found you."

 

Kihyun just blinks at him, seemingly taken aback.

 

There is so many things Wonho has to figure out. When he first got to know about soul mating as a child, he imagined everything a bit more smooth, a bit more perfect. Not a feeling like he is back in puberty and on his first date with the person he has been fawning over for the past four months.

 

But, Wonho will take what he gets, he always does. He will take this and make it perfect.

 

By now Kihyun must believe that he is an idiot, but he can't help but to smile again.

 

He will make it perfect so Kihyun will loose that confusion on his face and will smile just like Wonho does.

 

Wonho has always been an affectionate person. He needs to hug people, needs to hold their hands and feel them close to him to be okay. People around him know all too well and he is not ashamed of him.

 

So he takes Kihyuns hands in his without hesitation. He might take them because he is confused as fuck as well, but he doesn't think anyone will care.

  
He hopes at least.

 

Kihyuns hands are smaller and colder than his, but just like that they seem to perfectly fit into Wonhos.

 

He squeezes them lightly, finally feels how the feeling in his stomach settles and makes space for a heavy warmth.

 

" Hello.", he says, happy gaze on their intertwined hands. " I'm Wonho. I'm sorry it took me a while to find you. But I hope we can forget about that and simply start over. I'd love to."

 

For a second he releases one of Kihyuns hands and pulls down the collar of his jacket.

 

“ In case you were wondering... Kihyun.”

 

The name feels nice, softly drips from his tongue. He is looking forward to using it a lot of times.

  
Kihyun stares at his shoulder, his mouth slightly agape. He still doesn't say anything but sometimes, Wonho thinks, there is moments you don't have to talk. He will do so until Kihyun is ready.

 

He pushes his shirt back over his shoulder and takes Kihyuns other hand again, never taking his gaze from Kihyun, never stopping to smile.

 

"I'm really happy it's you."

 

Kihyun averts his gaze by now, a lonely tear dripping onto the grass, not unnoticed by Wonho.

 

But it is okay.

 

Kihyun doesn't pull his hands away.

 

It is okay.

 

 

 

 

3-4

 

 

Kihyun still hadn't uttered a single word when Wonho finally decided that the ground was too cold and that he had to get the other up on his feet. Staying outside was not an option but Wonho was in no way ready yet to leave and Kihyun also did not look like he would clear out any time soon.

  
So Minhyuk made out an at this hour deserted coffee shop down the street where Wonho doesn't run the risk of being recognized.

  
After entering the store Changkyun and Minhyuk left the two as much space as possible by sitting in a booth in the other corner of the room.

 

Wonho is glad about that fact, and at the same time slightly horrified by it because now he is sitting in front of the other alone, in the bright light of the coffee shop and his courage from earlier is as good as gone.

 

It is Kihyun that breaks the silence this time.

 

 " I'm sorry."

 

 Wonho lifts his gaze from the table. " Yes?"

 

 " I'm sorry for making things more complicated.", Kihyuns voice is barely audible. " The fact that you're famous and I dug through your trash freaked me out a tiny bit."

 

" I..." Wonho doesn't know what to say and just sits there feeling like an idiot.

  
The small device in his hand vibrates, telling him that the drinks are ready and saves him. He gets up curtly and points at the counter while pulling his face mask up once again. Minhyuk gave it to him before they entered the store. Wonho is thankful for him since he is in no way able to think about stuff like the public and his image that has to be saved at the moment.

 

A minute later he puts a hot chocolate in front of Kihyun and the caramel latte in front of himself.

 

" Kihyun." he starts then.

 

The walk over to the counter helped him to find his speech again.

  
He twirls the cup in his hands, the atmosphere still heavy around them.

 

" I'm not going to judge you for your situation since I do not know what happened to you to end up like this. Of course I would have wished for my soul mate not to live on the streets."

 

Kihyuns expression darkens and Wonho almost stumbles over his own words in a hurry to explain.

 

" No! No! That sounded wrong even to me! What I meant to say is I'm worried as fuck about you in your current situation. Hell, right now I might seem fine because there's like a million other things in my head but give me a few weeks and I'll breath down your neck. I'm sorry in advance."

 

He takes a sip from his warm drink, the liquid helping with his nerves." What I wanted to say is, I don't want to judge you. There is the person Kihyun, and there is the way you're living and I will try to keep that separated during the time we need to get to know each other. Hopefully there will be a time though  in which we will be close enough for you to open up to me about it."

 

Kihyun eyes him from underneath his eyelashes and Wonho feels horribly exposed under his gaze.

 

How wouldn't he.

 

Kihyun has pretty eyes.

 

“ Aren't famous people supposed to be  pricks judging others? Or is that one of those cliches straight out a movie?" Kihyun then questions carefully.

 

Wonho simply shrugs.

 

“ You haven't seen me around the MBC News anchor. That guy is such a waste of air I wished he'd choke on those damn cards he always carries around.”

 

“ What did he do to deserve that?”

 

Wonho clicks his tongue at the memory. “ After my first movie became a success I was invited to his show. I waited backstage and that was where I first met him. I bowed, 90 degree just for your information, but he just threw his bag at me and told me to get coffee.”

 

Kihyun lifts an eyebrow. “ He thought you were working there?”

 

“ Exactly. Which is fine, I don't think of myself as too high to get a coffee. So I went and got him that really nice drink from the catering. He took it without as much as a thank you, drank one sip and spit it back into the cup. He said something about over 70 degress but I already blacked out. There is only so much bullshit you can take in one day.”

 

Wonho drinks a small sip of his latte, scowling at the memory.

 

“ In the end I got him a new one.”

 

“ You hopefully spat in it.”

 

“ I didn't.”

 

Another sip and an evil smirk. “ Minhyuk did.”

 

Wonhos heart swells when Kihyun finally smiles after those words. It is not wide and not as bright as Wonho wished for it to be but it is there.

 

“ Not offending your coffee, got it.”

 

“ Minhyuk would never spit in your coffee.”

 

Kihyun nods over to the other corner of the , where the other two are seated. “ He's the blonde one, right?”

 

“ Yes. We've known each other since middle school and have been friends since then. “, Wonho grows soft at the memory. “ I would have never thought he'd end up being my manager. He can get quite scary.”

 

“ He does look fierce.”

 

“ He's a marshmallow. On his good days.”

 

Kihyun looks into his cup. “ Then I hope I'm not getting on his bad side.”

 

Wonho is fast to decline his words. “ Don't worry. As I said, he's a marshmallow. He just sometimes tries to kill me when I don't clean after myself, or stay up too late. And once I forgot to shower after a practise and simply went to bed. He gets really prissy about my hygiene."

 

Wonho shudders at the memory.

  
" I'm not dirty." Kihyun suddenly says and Wonho almost spits the sip he just took on the table.

 

" It wasn't my intenti-"

 

“ Still, I'm not.”

 

“ Kihyun, I neve-”

 

" I don't have a home to call my own at the moment but I take regular showers. Sometimes I earn a bit of money by helping out at the market. I use it to go to the wash salon.", he almost mutters by now and by the look in his eyes seems to ponder drowing himself in his chocolate." I just wanted to tell you. You're friend doesn't have to be concerned about that aspect. I believe there is a whole shitload of things he has to worry about but this is none of it. You don't have to... if people see me like this they won't notice so... please don't be too embarrassed. Cause I am enough for both of us."

 

“ I never once was embarrassed or thought you're dirty.”

 

“ I got this out now and we never have to talk about this again.”

 

“ But-”

 

“ No. Never.”

 

“ Okay. That's easy because as I said, I nev-”

 

“ Just... stop...please...”

 

He dips his spoon into the hot chocolate, eyes forcefully on anything else than him but Wonho shuts his mouth. 

 

It is a 180 degree difference to the confidence he showed Wonho when they first met but he can't find it in himself to complain. It hurts to listen to Kihyun, it hurts to slowly realize how low the other seems to think of himself, but at least he starts to share something. Wonho will take anything if it only means that the other won't run from him again. 

 

A soft smile appears on his lips when his eyes linger on Kihyun.

 

'My soulmate', his heart almost spilling in a sudden wave of happiness and fondness

 

Kihyuns cup nearly falls beneath the table when he stares at the other in disbelief and Wonho realizes that exact second that he might have said that loud with all his current emotions audible for Kihyun. 

 

He chuckles, cheeks reddening, but at the same time not regretting at all.

 

" Sorry. I didn't mean to let that slip out."

 

" You can't just walk around and call people yours without their consent!" 

 

By now Kihyuns cheeks blush as well and Wonho grows a bit more daring in the spur of the moment.

 

" You technically are my soul mate though." Wonho grins widely, enjoying the feeling of _soul mate_ on his lips and Kihyun leaps onto his feet.

 

" I'm leaving!"

 

Wonho halfway dives over the table and holds onto Kihyuns wrist. " No! I'm sorry! Please don't leave!"

 

Kihyun looks at his hand, face a tomato by now, and slowly sinks back onto his seat, glowering at Wonho with arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

" I'm sorry." Wonho repeats but looking at the gloomy guy pouting in the corner he can't help but to break out into another fit of chuckles.

 

" I'm just so happy, I'm so sorry."

 

Kihyun keeps glaring but his gaze is loosing the edge and he doesn't try to get up any more.

 

Wonho doesn't get tired of looking at him, even though he is doing nothing but sitting there. To Wonho it is wonderful. Being together with his soul mate, having a conversation with him, being able to ask him questions and to listen to his answers. 

 

" Is there a certain way you would like us to do this?" Kihyun asks after a while when he seems to have collected himself again.

 

" Well...", Wonho pushes his cup aside to support his elbows on the table. " I've never done this before."

 

" No shit." Kihyun mumbles. 

 

Wonho thoughtfully drums his finger against his cup.“ I guess the key to make things the easiest for us is talking. Having conversations, getting to know each other.”

 

“ Talking?” Kihyun pricks up his ears.

 

“ Yes. Talking. I know couples that moved in together after two weeks of knowing about the soul bond and while there is definitely many relationships that work out well, I don't think it would be the best option for us.”

 

Wonho knows that his soul bond would love it.

 

The thought of having the other around 24/7 is tempting and his soul bond – if those waves of content are part of the bond, Wonho is not sure yet- seems get more than excited at the thought but in the end their both still strangers to each other and Wonho doesn't expect Kihyun to easily manage big steps like living together if he had a problem with Wonho getting him a small cup of hot chocolate.

 

“ So, I think it would be nice to meet from time to time. You know, hanging out, acting like we're simple colleagues. Would you like that, Kihyun?”

 

“ I...”, the other mumbles quietly. “ Would like that. If you're okay with it.”

 

Wonho has to subtly grab the table to keep himself from taking Kihyuns hand again in a sudden wave of wanting to touch him.

 

“ I'm okay with it, Kihyun.” he says with all the sincerity he can muster.

 

Wonho has waited and hoped for a soul mate for so long, of course he wants to spend time with him. To say he is excited about all the things to come is an understatement. He already catches himself wondering how their relationship will work out for them. Wonho has a feeling for where it will go for him. Kihyun is horribly handsome and has the prettiest eyes... if he would just finally dare to look into Wonhos more often.

 

“ We're not going to do anything you don't like, okay Kihyun? We have all the time in the world.”

 

“ Okay." Kihyun answers quietly and from then on they fall into light conversation about all the easier things in life.

 

Wonho learns that Kihyun has a fable for ear piercings but had to take all of them out since the whole lobe got infected and that he once gave a guy double as big as him a blue eye because he laughed at the size of his shoes. He likes dogs and Wonho really liked that answer. First of all, because people who don't like dogs are a bit fishy to Wonho, second of all because Kihyun answered the lame question after his favorite animal without judging Wonho too hard.

 

Wonho tells Kihyun, that even though he has been to a shitload of countries in the world, his favorite travel goal is still the couch in front of his TV and that he loves to eat pesto spagetthie - preferably on said couch. He explains to Kihyun that his friends are a pain in the ass and that he regrets working together with them since the day Hyungwon opened the curtain to his fitting room in front of the camera of a variety show team.

 

At that, Kihyun laughs quietly and Wonho turns into a mushy puddle of affection.

Kihyun doesn't share anything more about his life and they do not exchange one word about Changkyun. Even though Wonho is dying to know he doesn't ask. Only half an hour ago he promised Kihyun that they would do this his pace and Wonho meant it when he said that they would have all the time in the world.

 

It is Minhyuk that pulls them out of their small bubble when Wonho already lost the feeling for time. It was just Kihyun and him in the small booth. Who cares about everything outside or the fact that it is close to 3 in the morning?

 

“ I think it is time for us to leave.”

 

Wonho turns to where Kihyun is nodding and spots Minhyuk standing in front of the door. He points at his watch and at the guy behind the counter who has a broom in his hands.

 

“ Seems like it is time for us to leave.” he then says when he sinks back into his seat with a sigh.

 

He is in no way ready to leave yet.

 

“ I guess so.” Kihyun says, his expression not looking too pleased as well.

 

Nevertheless he is the first one to get up, but Wonho stops him before he can walk over to the door.

 

“ Kihyun.”

 

The addressed stops in his tracks, questioning eyes at Wonho.

 

“ Where...”, Wonho swallows heavily. “ You have a place to stay at tonight?”

 

He didn't want to ask the question but Kihyun is about to leave and what Wonho believes is his soul bond more or less yells at him not to let him leave, the sensation similiar to electric waves that run throughout his whole body.

 

Wonho glances outside. It is dark and the weather is slowly getting colder. There is no way he will be able to sleep tonight, not knowing where Kihyun will go. 

 

Wonho wants to chastise him at the spot. Just half an hour ago he had told the other that he wouldn't mingle into his business and he is already getting in way too far but he couldn't stop himself.

 

He half expects Kihyun to just leave him sitting there but nothing like that happens.

 

“ Changkyun already told me I can stay at his place tonight.” Kihyun tells him quietly and Wonho has to restrain himself from exhaling in relief.

 

It is crazy to him how invested he already is in the boy, but he can't help it, at least for tonight when until a few hours ago he didn't even believe anymore that he would be able to meet the other.

 

“ That's good to know.”

 

He means it.

 

Wonho gets up as well. Standing close next to Kihyun he realizes that he is only a tiny bit taller than the other.

 

“ Is it supposed to rain tonight?”

 

“ No.”, Wonho answer. “ Why though?”

 

Kihyun simply shakes his head, eyes still on the outside. “ Nothing. I was just wondering.”

 

Wonho doesn't pry any further.

 

They slowly make their way over to the door. When they pass the counter, Wonho puts their cups there and nods slightly before he opens the door and waits until Kihyun walked through to follow him.

 

Changkyun and Minhyuk already wait outside for them.

 

They both exchange meaningful glances with Wonho. He is glad that they don't say anything though. It is late and everyone is tired.

 

Kihyun stays next to Changkyun. Now that they are outside and with the others his gaze is on the ground again. His fingers play with the hem of his jacket.

 

“ Kihyun said he could sleep at yours tonight?” Wonho casually says when he doesn't.

 

“ Sure. Any day of the week.” Changkyun answers with a smile, eyes on Kihyun.

 

 _'_ He should sleep at our house', his soul bond internally yells at him and Wonho realizes that the bond might be a territorial bitch. He pushes the thought away, being happy that Kihyun will be at least inside.

 

“ That makes me feel better, it really does.”, Wonho admits. “ Let's talk again tomorrow. It was a long day and we should all get some sleep.”

 

Kihyun nods, eyes still on the ground, but when they finally part ways his gaze shoots up and meets Wonhos.

 

“ Thanks... and...”, he slightly waves when he turns to leave. “ I'll see you.”

 

With that both of them are gone and even though Wonho couldn't be happier he also feels a hole gaping in his chest. He read a lot about it in the past. Their bond got comfortable due to their close proximity and hates them separating again.

 

“ Is it okay?”

 

Wonho waits until Changkyun and Kihyun fully disappear in the dark before he takes his eyes away.

 

“ Yes.”, he softly smiles after another moment. “ It is. More than good.”

 

“ Come.”, Minhyuk pats his shoulder. “ Let's take a taxi. We need to get some sleep. Tomorrow we'll talk.”

 

Wonho follows him without another word.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to cut the chapter so I could upload today ~

 

 

 

 

4-1

 

 

 

 

Wonho throws the small anti- stress ball Hyungwon gave him a while ago another time. With a soft thud it collides with the ceiling and falls back into his outstretched hand.

 

It has been a while since he woke up from a deep, dreamless sleep, but Wonho has not found it in himself yet to get up. His blanket is way too fluffy and warm and his body is still tired from the lack of sleep. 

 

They hadn't talked a lot last night on their way to their shared apartment, apart from Minhyuk telling him that he would clear out Wonhos schedule for the morning so the other would be able to rest a bit longer after the eventful night.

 

Wonho was more than thankful for that.

 

But by now it is nine, he has not yet gotten out of his room and he knows that Minhyuk only  has so much patience. Clearing his schedule happened out worry for Wonhos health and to give him a bit more time to get his thoughts into order but Minhyuk definitely has a lot of things on his mind he wants to talk about.

 

Wonho throws the ball another time.

 

He can't lock himself away forever but at least for another twenty minutes. Completely justifiable considering the fact that he met his soul mate less than ten hours ago.

 

Kihyuns face pops up in front of his inner eye, accompanied by a jingling feeling in his gut.

 

Promptly he forgets about the ball and it smacks right into his face.

 

Wonho groans and rolls over on side, one hand pressed to the area beneath his left eye, silently cursing the innocent looking ball on the floor and then deciding that he had enough of aimlessly throwing it.

 

So he stays in the same position, one leg and arm lazily hanging off the bedside. 

 

If Kihyun had a phone they could text.  He would know if the other went home with Changkyun, if he slept well and if he ate some breakfast.

 

Assumed , Kihyun would answer him. But after last night Wonho simply decided to expect him to.

 

If he had a phone...

 

Wonho remembers him saying something about not even owning a TV.

 

He exhales in distress and buries his face deeply in his pillow. He has got enough money to buy the other all the phones he wants but Kihyun took it hard to even get a cup of hot chocolate. He would never take one from him.

 

But, Wonho thinks, it is not for Kihyun, but for his own well being.

 

It gets a bit stuffy behind his pillow and he surfaces from beneath it only to stare at the ceiling again.

 

Yes.

 

If Kihyun had a phone and Wonho would always be able to contact him it would mean, that his soul bond could calm down. So in the end, Kihyun is helping Wonho out by taking a phone as a present.

 

Wonho nods to himself, satisfied with his watertight arguments. 

 

A knocking on the door pulls him out if his thoughts. He turns sideways to the door, a pillow in front of his chest.

 

" Wonho? I know you're awake. I heard you yelling.”

 

Minhyuks voice sounds muffled through the door.

 

" I don't feel like getting up yet."

 

" I made breakfast."

 

Wonho pricks up his ears. " What kind of?"

 

" Pancakes."

 

"With chocolate sauce?"

 

" With chocolate sauce."

 

At that, Wonho slowly peels himself out of his blankets and trots over to the door.

 

Minhyuk awaits him with a lifted eyebrow. " Finally about to leave your blanket castle?"

 

Wonho yawns deeply. " It's been a while since I've had a free morning."

 

Minhyuk pats his back as he leaves Wonho standing in the door frame. " Wash up and come to the kitchen."

 

Wonho does as he is told and finds himself in the kitchen 20 minutes later, mouth agape as he takes in the sheer amount of pancakes on the kitchen island.

 

" A NFL team is coming over for breakfast?"

 

" I couldn't sleep well.", Minhyuk nonchalantly answers as he turns another pancake in the pan. " Sit down and eat."

 

Wonho does not have to think twice about that and chews on the first piece of pancake when he barely sits.

 

" Could you sleep well? At least for a while?”

 

Wonho nods and swallows the big bite he took before answering. " I think I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow."

 

Minhyuk hums and pushes another pancake on the plate before he turns off the stove. The pan stays there for someone else to clean it later. 

 

He sits down on the opposite side of the kitchen island, takes a pancake and eats a small piece.

 

Wonho already prepares himself mentally and true, after a few bites Minhyuk puts his fork aside. 

 

" So… I guess we found him."

 

" Seems like it."

 

Wonho keeps eating, careful eyes on Minhuk.

 

" What do you know about him?"

 

" What do you want to know about him?"

 

Minhyuk shrugs and plays with the fork next to his plate. "I guess the usual stuff. I doesn't happen every day that one of my closest friends finds his soul mate."

 

" When Minji found hers a year ago you were had over heels and now you look like you bit into something sour."

 

"That was different."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it was Minji.", Minhyuk thrives his hand into the air. " She's a bank accountant and not a superstar who's being watched 24/7. And her soul mate is Jae. I've known the guy for years."

 

Wonho stops eating and looks at him with narrowed eyes. " What do you want to tell me? He's not good enough?"

 

"No."

 

" That why do you seem so agitated?"

 

"Wonho, look.", Minhyuk puts both his hands on the table. " That has nothing to do with him not being good enough. But I'm your friend and also your manager. There is this guy stumbling into your life we know zero to nothing about. A guy who seems to live in the perfect circumstances to be a pain in the ass."

 

He leans back into his chair and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

 

" I don't want to be the one that spoils the fun but there has been more than one occasion in which people got blackmailed. And I'm not letting that happen to you."

 

Wonho tilts his head at that. " You do not seriously believe that's gonna happen to me."

 

" No. He was cute for fucks sake. Still, I always knew how much you wanted a soul mate and now that you have one your head will be in the clouds. I need to be the one to see things rationally." 

 

Wonho knows that Minhyuk always wants his best. There hasn't been a day where Minhyuk hasn't fought for him like a lion would do for their cup, even though his friend is often more annoyed than anything else with Wonho.

 

That is why Minhyuks behavior doesn't set him off, even though he would prefer Minhyuks usual over excited loud self over the serious expression any day.

 

" Tell me what I can do to help you." Wonho says as he puts his fork aside as well.

 

" Help with what?"

 

" How can I make this easier for you? I don't want you to get wrinkles or sleepless nights over him."

 

Minhyuk scoffs. " This face is too pretty to get wrinkles."

 

Wonho chuckles quietly. " Of course." 

 

He reaches over the surface and takes Minhyuks hand in his.

 

" Maybe you should just talk to him once and then you will realize."

 

Minhyuk furrows his brow. " What will I realize?"

 

" It's just… when I look at him I don't have the slightest doubt about him. Even if I wanted to mistrust him, I couldn't.", Wonhos chest flutters as he warmly smiles at the table. " I think fate couldn't have been better to me."

 

" You do look overly smitten." Minhyuk scoffs.

 

Wonho grins lopsided. " Maybe I am." 

 

He has never been ashamed of showing his feelings to Minhyuk.

 

" What did you even talk about last night?" Minhyuk continues, his expression a bit softer by how. Wonho knows which buttons to press.

 

Wonho slowly blows up his cheeks while reconciling last night . Taking in the memories of the first real talk with his soul mate, it feels like a dream. A good dream.

 

He finds himself smiling like an idiot again and Minhyuk groans. 

 

" I'm giving up on you. Forget about it."

 

" He apologized!", Wonho says under laughter while clinging to Minhyuk to prevent the other from getting up. " He apologized for making things difficult for me."

 

Minhyuk grunts and stays on his chair, Wonho hanging from his arm. " At least he doesn't seem to be stupid. What else?"

 

"Other than that we just talked about how we want to keep things from now." 

 

" And that would be?"

 

Wonho releases Minhyuks arm to sit straight again. " Slow."

 

"Slow?"

 

"Yes, slow. So we can see what kind of relationship will develop."

 

Minhyuk scoffs another time. " We both know which way you're going to develop. Give it a month and you'll have heart in your eyes as soon as you see him.”

 

" Many soul bonds settle in a romantic relationship."

 

" Because many believe it is supposed to be like this.  But your soul mate doesn't have to be your partner. You can fall in love with someone else while being soul mated."

 

Minhyuk opens the bottle of orange juice on the table and fills two classes with the bright liquid.

 

" It's just really bothersome. Having a significant other and a soul mate can only lead to a certain amount of jealousy. But who am I telling all of that. You're the expert in it."

 

Wonho can't help but to feel jealous at the thought of Kihyun having a significant other.  He feels a wave of worry running throughout his body. He should have asked him about it last night.

 

Minhyuk pats his shoulder. " But that's not the important part now."

 

" And what would be the important part?" 

 

" You have forgotten what we talked about literal five minutes ago? Your soul mate is - most of the times – homeless, as far as I know. And I do believe that is a topic we should not forget about."

 

Wonho grimaces at his words, still not liking how the words sound in his ears. 

 

" Thanks for reminding me."

 

Minhyuk takes a sip from his orange juice while cutting a piece of pancake off with his fork. He takes his time with chewing and only slowly swallows it.

 

" I tried to get some things out of Changkyun but that guy was still shaking from the shock. He needed two caramel chocolates to have a normal conversation.", he glares at the wall. " Poor thing."

 

" So nothing?"

 

"Nope. I was busy trying to calm him down. "

 

" I guess I'll have to talk to him then."

 

“ You should.”

 

Minhyuk points his fork at Wonho. “ Promise me to be careful. I do not want to wake up to a picture of you on the front page of every newspaper.”

 

Wonho narrows his eyes at him. “ What do you expect me to do to him from the very beginning that could become a scandal?“

 

'' You do find him attractive. Don't try to lie to me.“

 

'' Yeah... maybe...“ Wonho blushes slightly.

 

Minhyuk groans and gets up from his chair.

 

Wonho follows him with his eyes. " Why are you leaving me, traitor?"

 

"You're already so far up his ass you'll puke."

 

He rolls his eyes but when he turns to the stove Wonho saw the small smile on his face. Minhyuk will come around eventually,  but it is nice to know he will always be in save, rational hands.

 

" We need to leave in two hours. I could reschedule the appointments in the company but the fan sign in Jamsil you need to  attend." Minhyuk says from next to the sink.

 

Wonho would love to sleep a few more hours but nevertheless nods. " Got it. I'll be ready."

 

Minhyuk comes over to ruffle through his hair, something he never stopped even when Wonhos shoulder became far more broad than his own. 

 

" Do you need help with the dishes?"

 

"Nope. I'm just putting everything in the dishwasher. Try to rest a bit more."

 

"Okay.", Wonho gets up from his chair.  "Thanks, Minhyuk."

 

" Yeah. Always remember how you'd suffer without me."

 

" I will."

 

Wonho chuckles as he shuffles back to his room. He heavily falls back into bed and stays like that for a second before he reaches out for his mobile on the nightstand. 

 

A soft blinking indicates that he got a few messages. There is a call from Starshop CEO, a few messages of Hyungwon and other numbers he doesn't know.

 

What his eyes zoom in first though is a message from Changkyun.

 

He opens it and almost yells into his pillow.

 

 

 

 

**Changkyun allowed me to use his phone. I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to say thanks again for last night. For keeping up with me. I guess you must be horribly busy so I hope it's not too hard for you today. Kihyun**

 

 

 

Wonho mistypes a total of embarrassing five times in his haste to answer before he manages to put together a decent message to send. 

 

 

 

 

_**No need to apologize!! I would have stayed out all night if it wasn't for Minhyuk!!~ Have you slept well?** _

 

 

 

 

He turns onto his back, phone lifted over his head and eagerly waits for the answer. Kihyun only texted him a few minutes ago, chances are h-

 

A message plops up.

 

 

 

 

**I slept well. I was gone as soon as I got under the blanket.**

 

 

 

 

 

_**Me too~~~ The days before I couldn't sleep well because of the soul bond but tonight it felt comfortable.** _

 

 

 

**I'm sorry**

 

 

 

_**I told you it's fine!! It's okay! I dont want you to think about it ever again!!** _

 

 

 

**Have you eaten already?**

 

 

 

_**Yes~~ Minhyuk made me lots of pancakes!** _

 

 

 

 

**Good. You should eat well. I dont know a lot about your job but it seems to be straining.**

 

 

 

_**I will!** _

 

 

 

Wonho catches himself grinning like an idiot, but he can't find it in himself to care. At all. 

 

 

 

 

 **You should also remember to drink a lot. Changkyun said you sometimes forget**.

 

 

 

 

_**You asked about me??~~~** _

 

 

For a few minutes there is no answer and Wonho almost regrets being a tiny bit more daring than he actually planned to but then another message pops up. 

 

 

 

 

 

**I want to know about you. You're my soul mate**

 

 

 

 

Wonho needs a moment afterwards to stop himself from hyperventilating.

 

 

 

 

 

**Did you leave?**

 

 

 

 

_**Nope! Still here! I was just overwhelmed for a second.** _

 

 

 

 

 

**Why? Should I stop texting you?**

 

 

 

 

 

**_Do't you dre to put that phne awy!!!_ **

 

 

 

 

 

**Okay. Seeing how you forgot to spell the right way I take it really took you by surprise.**

 

 

 

 

_**Did you just roast me for the first time?** _

 

 

 

**Did I?**

 

 

 

_**Seems like it.** _

 

 

 

 

**I'm sorry.**

 

 

 

_**I didn't say I was angry. I liked it!** _

 

 

 

 

 

**You like being roasted?... I didn't take you for someone into that kind of kink.**

 

 

 

 

_**I DO NOT HAVE KINKS!!!** _

 

 

 

 

**Sorry**

 

 

 

 

_**'I'M NOT ANGRY!!!!** _

 

 

 

 

 

**You keep texting me in caps.**

 

 

 

 

 

_**Because I do not want you to feel sorry. I do not know you that well yet, but if that is the way you feel comfortable, keep talking. Hell... it's not like any of my friends hold back so you shouldn't as well** _

 

 

 

_**Kihyun?** _

 

 

 

_**Are you still there?** _

 

 

 

 

**Sorry... It's just a lot to take in. I expected you to treat me differently**

 

 

 

 

 

_**How am I supposed to treat you?** _

 

 

 

 

 

**I don't know... It's just a lot  
**

 

 

 

 

_**Slowly, I promised you, Kihyun.** _

 

 

 

**Okay**

 

 

 

 

 

_P **romise me not to get nervous when we meet the next time... and don't try to be someone you're not only because you want me to like you.** _

 

 

 

_**( Read 9:54)** _

 

 

 

 

4-2

 

 

 

 

" Could you explain to me what this is?"

 

Wonho shrinks in his chair, apologetically looking at his make up artist.

 

" I… might haven't slept that much the past days."

 

She sighs in expiration and a bit too forcefully starts to put makeup on the spots in his face. " I'm good, but not a magician."

 

"Sorry…" Wonho smiles sheepishly.

 

Deep down he believes she is exaggerating. Sure, there are some red spots on his face and it has been smoother before but nothing he cares too much about. And hopefully his fans as well. Their going to put filter on his face when taking a picture either way.

 

" Sleep at night."

 

" I will."

 

She glares at him but his puppy eyes have always helped him out  and he can feel the effect when her movements become softer and less out to kill him.

 

He had talked to Kihyun for almost an hour before Minhyuk came into the room and dragged him into the shower.

 

Reluctantly, very reluctantly he had followed him.

 

They talked about anything and everything and it had felt like a mere ten minutes when Minhyuk positioned himself next to his bed.

 

Wonho takes his phone from the counter while she starts working with his hair to make him look presentable for the fan sign.

 

No new message, at least not from a certain someone.

 

He clicks his tongue as he puts the phone back on the table making a note to himself to think about the phone idea again.

 

Someone else enters the room that was re purposed into a make up area. Wonho smiles when he recognizes Hyungwon in the mirror.

 

" You're up this early?" 

 

“ Only halfway.”, Hyungwon nods at the door. “ But I'm not letting someone else handle your outfit. Are you ready?" 

 

" Almost." The stylist says and runs another hand through his hair. " Let's just hope the cameras won't zoom in too close."

 

She glowers another time at Wonho and he fastly gets out of the chair.

 

" Thanks a lot… it looks awesome."

 

He ushers Hyungwon over to the door in a hurry to get out of her radius.

 

" Is it me or was she in a worse mood than usual?"

 

"Its definitely not you.", Wonho shudders. " Its the spots on my face."

 

"You didn't get enough sleep?"

 

"Nope."

 

Hyungwon opens a door down the hallway and Wonho enters after him.

 

" I put your outfit on the table."

 

" Thanks."

 

It is plain jeans and a shirt Wonho finds on a table, nothing like the sometimes over the top things Hyungwon gives him before a stage. But since it is only a fan meeting today it is perfectly fine to tone it down a bit.

 

Wonho doesn't bother to hide behind something, but simply begins to change at the spot. He has been too long with Hyungwon to care. And working a job like his, you can't be embarrassed either way.

 

" So…" Hyungwon slowly starts when Wonho carefully pulls a shirt over his head.

 

" Yeah?"

 

"How is he?" 

 

"Who?"

 

Wonho managed to pull the shirt over his head and now looks at Hyungwon in confusion.

 

The other nods at his naked chest and Wonho follows his gaze to where the tattoo sits on his shoulder.

 

" Minhyuk truly couldn't wait for even a day."

 

" A day?", Hyungwon scoffs while taking a seat on the lonely chair next to the door. " He texted me at around three in the morning." 

 

Wonho puts his shirt on the table and takes the one Hyungwon chose for him. " What did I expect?"

 

He is not pissed, he would have told Hyungwon himself sooner or later. He is a close to Hyungwon as to Minhyuk. It is just a different kind of closeness. 

 

" So? You don't have anything to tell me?" Hyungwon asks again. 

 

Wonho tilts his head at he thinks. 

 

" He is a bit smaller than me. And his shoulders aren't as broad as mine."

 

" That's not hard."

 

" His hair is dark. It looks really fluffy." 

 

Hyungwon supports his head on his hand. " And that made you want to run a hand through it?"

 

"Exactly. It's like… really shiny. I didn't realize first because it was dark but then we where in the coffee shop and holy crap."

 

Wonho pushes his head through the shirt and pulls it straight, before he turns to his trousers.

 

" Good looking?"

 

Wonho nods and finds himself blushing at the memory. Hyungwin snickers into his hand.

 

" So your soul bond is going in that direction?"

 

" How much did Minhyuk tell you?" 

 

Wonho pulls down his sweat pants and takes the jeans from the counter.

 

Hyungwon shrugs. " Not too much. Only that you found your Kihyun and that you're already blushing by only thinking about him. So I was hoping you could tell me where the hell you hid that guy and when you met him."

 

Wonho silently pulls the new trouser up and takes his time with closing them. Only then he looks up again, his smile sadder than planned.

 

" Can I tell you later? It would take some time."

 

Hyungwon might be more into gossip than Minhyuk is but he can read the atmosphere a lot better than anyone Wonho knows.

 

So he simply nods after a moment, not pressuring Wonho any further.

 

 

 

4-4

 

 

 

 

 

Kihyun has been waiting for it all day long but only in the late afternoon Changkyun comes over to where he is sitting on the floor in front of the TV to join him.

 

He knows that the talk is inevitable but he would have loved for it to come up a tiny bit later. Maybe next year, or the one after. But he already was lucky due to the fact that Changkyun did not talk to him last night and simply let him go to sleep. He even gave him his phone without getting in too deep.

 

So, all in all, Kihyun was lucky to have another few hours of getting his shit together.

 

“ So...”

 

Changkyun slowly starts.

 

Kihyun changes the channel to a less boring one, not yet having found the strength to look at the other.

 

“ So...”, Changkyun repeats. “ Soul mating it is?”

 

“ So, working for Starship it is?”, Kihyun eyes the other from the side. “ Last time I checked you were selling noodles to late night gamers.”

 

“ It just kind of happened. I wanted to tell you.”

 

“ It just kind of happened to me as well, but I wasn't sure yet if I wanted to tell anyone.”

 

Changkyun scoffs, eyes on the screen. “ I don't think you can compare my noodles to you having a soul mate.”

 

“ Depends on how serious you take your food.”

 

Kihyun can fell how he slowly builds the wall again that partly crumbled down last night. He is not even sure if he wants to, but he can't help it.

 

“ Are you trying to out smart me right now? I know you can but please don't try since I really want to have a serious talk about this.”

 

“ I'm answering you seriously.”

 

Kihyuns gaze falls on his hands. He hadn't realized that he is kneeding them.

 

“ Kihyun...”

 

“ Why?”

 

He responds, voice turning quiet because, hell, these days he is stumbling from on situation to the other where he simply doesn't know how to fucking react. He got his shitty life sorted out, he is not supposed to not know anymore what to do.

 

Changkyun turns to him and softly takes the remote out of his hand. “ I know you're keeping things from me I wished you would tell me about.”

 

“ I-”

 

“ It is okay. I'm not here to force you to tell me if you don't want to.”

 

Sometimes Kihyun wished he would but he keeps that thought to himself.

 

“ But there are things I came to know about last night. And that includes your soul mate you seemed to like talking to last night. Don't try to lie, I kept an eye on you. We both know you can be emotionally constipated as hell. Last night something triggered you to once do something for yourself and I'm so glad about that because it made you open up but now that the nightly coffee shop magic is over and you can hide away in the dark parts of your mind again I want to know what you're thinking. So you won't run from it again.”

 

“ I sound like a delightful companion.”

 

Changkyun elbows him softly and Kihyun chuckles quietly. Even to him it sounds the tiniest bit sad.

 

“ I don't regret meeting him, if that is what you're curious about.”

 

“ I was worried you would.”

 

Kihyun slowly shakes his head. “ No... no, it helped, to be honest.”

 

He puts a hand on his stomach, there where the hollow feeling he had carried around for so long is now slightly less hollow.

 

“ There was this... this pulling motion. It made it hard to think about anything else. Now that I met him and talked to him it changed into something... softer. I can't explain it well with words but it is not unpleasant anymore.”

 

His thoughts wander to last night, himself sitting in front of Wonho in the coffee shop, his hands around a warm cup of hot chocolate.

 

First, it felt like sitting on needles. He wanted to leave, how much he really wanted to leave.

 

In everything he did, Wonho radiated light. Simply sitting there and breathing made him so much more than Kihyun would ever manage to be. Why should he be allowed to be in his proximity?

 

But he wasn't able to leave. He couldn't find the strength in himself to simply get up.

 

He lied to himself, telling himself that he was too selfless. That Wonho would suffer if he wasn't around him.

 

But in the end, it was the contrary.

 

Wonho radiates light and warmth and Kihyun feels so cold that he can't help but to flock to him. Wonho is beautiful and if Kihyun can't be the same, for a while he wants to at least be able to look at it.

 

He is not selfless, he is too weak for that.

 

“ He told me things about himself. It was really easy to talk to him. I know he is used to people... to act a certain way that the crowd will like him, but I think he didn't learn that through his job, I feel as if he was like that all his life. And he got really flustered when he stained his shirt with coffee. I didn't care but he seemed to be so embarrassed. For a few minutes he blushed like crazy and didn't dare to look at me. It was funny.”

 

It was cute,  is what he wants to say but there are things he better doesn't start.

 

“ And today, when I used your phone to text him, I half expected him to ignore me, but we talked for almost an hour and it was hardly awkward at all in the end. It was... comfortable to talk to him. Easy...”

 

Kihyun grows more quiet by the second until he goes silent, the memories to heavy in his mind to put into words.

 

He enjoyed it.

 

He enjoyed it so much that he feels ashamed about it because he shouldn't have. He shouldn't have joked with him, he shouldn't have been so open. But deep down he can't lie to himself.

 

He wants more of the light.

 

A feeling of being watched causes him to lift his head. He raises his eyebrows when he meets Changkyuns gaze.

 

“ Why are you looking at me like this?”

 

Changkyun warmly smiles at him. “ You're smiling.”

 

Kihyun pauses. He can't help himself and slowly touches the corner of his mouth. Truly, he hadn't realized himself.

 

His hand falls back to the floor, and  his smile vanishes.

 

At that, Changkyun reaches out for him. “ It is okay, Kihyun. You know that, right?”

 

“ What is okay?”

 

“ Enjoying all of this. You deserve it.”

 

“ I did not do anything to deserve this.”

 

“ Even if you don't believe it, please don't run from it.”

 

How does Changkyun know him so well?

 

“ Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.”

 

“ And I'm glad about that.”, Changkyun jabs him into the chest with his finger. “ Because you do deserve every happiness you can get.”

 

Kihyun doesn't respond to that.

 

 

4-5

 

 

It was a comfortable fan meeting, Wonho decides when he later finds a bit of time to think on their way back to the company.

 

None too pressing questions, none too many lies that he had to make up on the spot.

 

Wonho doesn't want to, he really hates to have to lie to his fans from time to time. They brought him to where he is now and there is many of them he knows by name after all those years but still, many fans only like to hear the truth they want to hear.

 

So when the usual question came up, if he had a soul mate, he declined without wavering the slightest, his usual bright smile on his face.

 

That he would tell then of course, that he trusts his fans to keep supporting him and his soul mate while deep down his thinks that most if them will, but some will go on a riot. 

 

One way he will tell them.

 

Maybe next year when the clothing gets a bit less again and he is not able anymore to cover Kihyuns name on his shoulder.

 

Wonho hates the thought of camouflaging it. As if he is embarrassed of Kihyun, which he isn't. If he decides to hide their soulmating for longer, it will be because this is his, this is theirs and he doesn't want anyone to budge into it when both of them don't know yet how to handle it themselves.

 

It is late afternoon by now and Wonhos stomach yells at him for some food. Another meeting with Hyunwoo at the company to rearrange his practise schedule and than he can finally eat some food.

 

Minhyuk pushes the door open and exits the car first, his usual way with his phone pressed to his ear. Wonho does not care enough to listen. He follows him, eyes on his own phone. Nor Kihyun or Changkyun have texted him again since the morning and his mood can't help but to drop at that.

 

He follows Minhyuk inside the company building, Hyungwon next to him typing on his phone as well, meanwhile blabbering about nothing and everything. Wonho has zoned out a long time ago.

 

They enter the elevator and the door softly closes after Wonho pushed the button.

 

“ Don't look too thrilled, Wonho.”

 

Minhyuk finally finished his phone call.

 

Wonho doesn't even try to hide his grimace. “ Leave me alone.”

 

“ What twisted your panties?”

 

“ I texted with Kihyun for a while this morning but he hasn't replied to my last message yet.”

 

The elevator reaches their floor and Wonho leaves both of them as soon as the doors open.

 

“ People have a life, Wonho.” Minhyuk says from his side.

 

For Wonhos taste they reached him way too fast.

 

“ And you should understand that the most since you should not have the time to even check your phone that often throughout the whole day.”

 

“ But.”, Wonho manages not to stomp his feet in the hallway. “ That fanmeet took hours. I mean, how busy can you get? How long does typing a message take?”

 

“ Didn't you tell me earlier that he used Changkyuns phone?”

 

“ So you mean Changkyun is getting in the way?”

 

Minhyuk sighs in expiration while Hyungwon chuckles on his other side.

 

“ This will be a long day.”

 

Minhyuk ruffles through Wonhos hair a bit too forcefully. “ Gosh, I love you but don't turn into a hormonal school boy that's waiting for his crush. This morning I wasn't too sure about it but right now I hope that guy would show up just like that.”

 

He snips with his fingers and Wonho glowers at him before he opens the door to the practise room.

 

Deep down he hopes that Minhyuks finger did the magic but no surprise is waiting for him. No grinning Changkyun that tells him he convinced Kihyun about meeting him.

 

His mood grows only worse.

 

 

 

4-6

 

 

 

 

One second the music loudly echoes throughout the practise room, the next it is eerily silent.

 

Wonho sinks to the floor with a groan, sweat dripping from his nose as he tries to gather his breath.

 

'' You missed the beat again.“ Hyunwoo says from the stereo and Wonho can only nod in agreement.

 

It is late by now, outside a pitch blackness and they have been practicing for the better part of three hours but while he really tries to concentrate on the new dance he has to learn for another single release he can't seem to manage.

 

'' I know... I keep fucking up today. I'm sorry.“

 

Wonho lowers his head in shame. He asked Hyunwoo to teach him a more complex dance routine this time and now he can't seem to manage to coordinate his body and not to miss his entrance.

 

'' Maybe, if we tried once more. Let me do it one more time.“

 

He tries to push himself from the floor and fails miserably.

 

Hyunwoo comes over and crouches down next to him.

 

'' There must be a lot of things going through your mind.“

 

Wonho peeks at him through his sweaty bangs. '' I assume Minhyuk already told you.“

 

'' I received a message in the morning. I hope you do not mind that I know.“

 

'' No... no. Not at all. I would have told you myself. It's just...“, Wonho shrugs. '' It has been barely a day since I have found Kihyun. I thought I knew about the soul bond but now that I can feel it I ralized that I know shit. I have barely talked to him since last night, something inside of me keeps yelling at me to run to him, to just leave everything. Concentrating on anything is difficult. It is a lot to take in for me at the moment.“

 

_He is homeless and I worry and Changkyun can't help me._

 

Hyunwoo silently listens and plays with the water bottle in his hand.

 

'' I want to be professional. Work and then private.”

 

'' I'm sorry I can't be a bigger help to you.“ Hyunwoo apologizes.

 

Wonho hurriedly shakes his head. '' No, no! It is awesome that I can talk to you and that you're not already yelling at me.“

 

Hyunwoo is a saint.

 

'' Rest for a moment. I'll use the bathroom.“

 

Wonho nods and watches as Hyunwoo leaves the room. As soon as the heavy door closes with a thud behind him Wonho sinks back onto his back and exhales heavily.

 

He touches his stomach with one hand, there where the tingling feeling grew worse over the past hours.

 

He can't remember ever feeling this jittery.

 

There was one time where he had to do bungee jumping from the fucking highest building in the area for some variety show, but that time what made him cry was purest devastation about his upcoming doom. Still, he knew that it would be temporary. Either way he would jump and get rid of it or shit his pants and blow everything. No matter the outcome, at night he wold have slept like a baby.

 

Now the feeling is a mix of at top of the world because, fuck, he found him, he talked to him, his soul mate might be the most gorgeous being he ever laid his eyes on, and the sinking of his stomach because he doesn't know where Kihyun is, he can't simply talk to him, he doesn't where the hell he sleeps at night and Wonho is frankly getting lost between those highs and downs.

 

He rolls over to his side and stares at himself in the big mirror across.

 

Maybe he should screw all of his taking things slow and just pester Changkyun with calls. He will know where Kihyun is.

 

But there, Hyunwoo is already back and Wonho tries to push all those thoughts away when he slowly gets back on his feet with a deep sigh.

 

Later.

 

All of it later. 

 

He does not seem to have the time to figure his life out and he never realized more.

 

 

 

 


End file.
